Is Fibromyalgia Progressive?

Is Fibromyalgia Progressive?

I recently read a post on twitter by My Name is Fibromyalgia that says that fibromyalgia is progressive. And goes into details of the 6 Stages. It is a good article and quite dire. 

It makes me sad when I read posts like this as it projects a negative future for “most” cases of fibromyalgia. It makes me sad because I know many people with fibromyalgia, maybe even most, will go down this path.

Because I know there are options that can change the trajectory. It makes me sad that so many men and women with fibromyalgia are suffering and can’t, don’t or won’t believe that the possibility of improving their health exists.  Or don’t even consider it as a possibility.

It is a bit scary to write and share this, as sometimes people with fibromyalgia will be offended by my belief that we can improve.  And I truly don’t like to offend people. One of my worst fears is offending others. 

Yet, I have written and posted this because I need to share my experience and hopefully plant some seeds of hope that you can improve. You don’t have to go down the road of progressively getting worse. You can turn around your health and improve. 

 

I know there are options

My fibromyalgia symptoms began in my early childhood. I was told the pain I was experiencing was normal, so nothing was done. It also created the belief in me that being in pain was the norm. 

It wasn’t until after I graduated from college that I realized that what I experienced wasn’t the norm. I had taken a backpacking class and the final session was to backpack up the side of a mountain and camp overnight.   Halfway up the mountain, I had to stop because my shoulder was in such severe pain.  I was carrying a camera on that shoulder.  I stopped and watched the other people continue up the trail. In that moment, I knew that there was something very different about me. That the pain I was experiencing was not normal. No one else on that trail with me was in severe pain. 

My fibromyalgia started in childhood and slowly but progressively got worse. By three years out of college, I was in severe pain, depressed, anxious, severe IBS, fatigued and had severe interstitial cystitis and suffered from insomnia. It was so bad that I ended my job as a CPA to find solutions to my health.   

Over the next 40 years, I studied and immersed myself in holistic health and spirituality. 

I was really sick. For 14 years, from age 34-48, I lived with my parents as I couldn’t work enough to support myself. 

 

And I have improved. Greatly. 

Many of my fibro symptoms are gone completely. Others are mild. Some I am still working on. Here is a summary: 

Mild: Pain, depression, anxiety – comes and goes.

Rarely: Brain fog

Gone: Insomnia, fatigue, interstitial cystitis

Some symptoms that came on later: itching and burning skin was very severe for a while-now rarely occurs and if so, very mild. 

Right now, the IBS is the greatest challenge, but improving. 

I have come so far since those torturous years when I was living with my parents. That is when the pain, fatigue, insomnia, depression, and anxiety were at their worst.  I literally wanted to die. I didn’t want to continue living in so much pain. 

I am not completely free of fibromyalgia. It still limits me. But I am soooooo much healthier.  One of my biggest problems is that now that I can do more, sometimes I push myself too much, which can flare up old symptoms.  But, as I balance my work with play and rest, I don’t flare up as often. 

All this is a result of what I learned and experienced in my studies of holistic health and spirituality. They go hand in hand. 

 

It is Your Choice

You get to choose. With a strong intention and commitment, you can improve your health. It can be a challenge, but it is worth the effort. 

 

5 Stages of Moving Beyond Fibromyalgia

Below is an article that I wrote several years ago and re-posted last year. I am including it here as a reminder of what is possible.  If anything, I invite you to consider the possibility that you can improve your health with some guidance, intention, and commitment. 

5 Stages of Moving Beyond Fibromyalgia

My goal in life was to move beyond the experience of fibromyalgia.

As I moved through my experience of living with fibromyalgia, with that as my goal, I noticed 5 distinct phases that I went through. They were, in essence, 5 steps of empowering myself in relationship to fibromyalgia. These steps are:

  1. Understanding Fibromyalgia
  2. Living with Fibromyalgia
  3. Managing Fibromyalgia
  4. Rebuilding your Health
  5. Life beyond Fibromyalgia.

Understanding Fibromyalgia

In the simplest of terms, fibromyalgia is an experience of multiple physical, emotional and cognitive symptoms including (but not exclusive) to widespread pain, heightened and painful response to pressure, fatigue, sleep disturbance, joint stiffness, difficulty swallowing, constipation and irritable bowel syndrome, bladder abnormalities, numbness and tingling, brain fog, depression, and anxiety. The exact symptoms and severity of symptoms vary from individual to individual. Fibromyalgia is estimated to affect 2-4% of the population and effects 9 women for every man. The term “fibromyalgia” literally means “muscle and connective tissue pain”.

It is said that there is no cure for fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia is not fatal. My experience is that the symptoms do increase over time if not managed and addressed properly. Diagnosis can be difficult and even after diagnosis, finding a practitioner that truly understands fibromyalgia is rare.

 

Treatment for Fibromyalgia

Generally medical treatment for fibromyalgia is management of symptoms via medications and lifestyle management. In the holistic arena you will find acupuncture, herbal treatments, “miracle cures”, chiropractic treatments, diet and exercise recommendations galore, and many countless modalities. All of these have their place.  

Personally I think that rather than focusing on treating or healing fibromyalgia, we need to focus on healing the individual. I believe that the underlying cause of fibromyalgia is different for each person so the idea of healing or treating fibromyalgia or the individual symptoms may bring some temporary relief, but do nothing to create permanent or lasting change. Treating symptoms only can detract the attention from identifying the underlying cause and thereby making real progress.

 

Living with Fibromyalgia

Living with fibromyalgia is a difficult endeavor. In my experience, the symptoms can change radically from day to day, leaving me unsure of what I would be capable of accomplishing on any given day. Fibromyalgia can impact every area of your life including career, family, relationships, hobbies, finances, and self-esteem.

It is difficult if not impossible for someone who does not have fibromyalgia to understand what you are experiencing. Many times I heard, “it is all in your head”, “everyone experiences pain”, “you’re just too sensitive”, or “just get over it”. 

People rarely understood why I couldn’t keep up with everyone else or often had to say, “I am just going to stay home” simply because I needed to rest. Many times, I would push myself to do more than my body could handle, and end up in extreme pain and miserable. 

Truthfully, it took me years of suffering before I understood how to live with fibromyalgia. Trying to push through isn’t helpful. In the years that I did that, I did more damage to my health and paid dearly for it.

 

Managing Fibromyalgia

Slowly, I began to listen to my body and understand the limitations that it imposed on me. When I fought the limitations, I suffered. As I learned to respect my body and the messages it sent me, I began to be able to manage my symptoms so that they were tolerable and that I could maintain a consistent level of functionality.  

By listening to my body, I found foods that were more supportive and exercise routines that worked for me. I discovered how much sleep I needed and what would disturb or enhance my sleep. I found the kind of regular schedule that would support me in keeping the symptoms at a tolerable level. I discovered what kinds of activities I could engage in and others that I needed to avoid. I could tell when my emotions and anxiety were spiraling out of control and learned ways to pull back to take care of myself. I found tools that helped my body to relax and release pain and tension.

As I listened, I began to hear more. I became aware of unresolved emotional experiences and how to release them. I learned to listen to my mind and become aware of the kinds of thoughts I fed to myself and then began to slowly re-script my inner dialogue. I learned to how to take care of myself the times that I was severely depressed. I learned how to take my power back and communicate effectively with others.

I think I have learned more from listening to my body than from any book I have ever read. Although, the outside information was valuable and if I asked for it, I would receive information that was helpful to me. I found that most medications did not work for me so I chose a more holistic approach.

(This doesn’t mean that you can’t or shouldn’t take medications. Sometimes they are helpful in managing symptoms while releasing underlying causes.)

 

Rebuilding Your Health

Once I accepted the limitations that fibromyalgia imposed on me and learned to manage my experience, I was in a more stable position. From there I could begin to research and experiment and look for the underlying cause of my symptoms.

I had the belief that I could heal myself and I needed/wanted to do that. With this approach, I have been able to root out the underlying causes of my fibromyalgia and put myself on the road to healing. Finding the underlying cause was one step, applying the needed protocols to my life a second step and then re-balancing, detoxing and rebuilding my body was the third step.

Out of my own experiences, I have pulled together the tools and methods that work most effectively as well as an understanding of how to evaluate others as to how to guide and support their exploration.

 

Life Beyond Fibromyalgia

Fibromyalgia can be an all-encompassing experience. It can become the center point of our life. While dealing with fibromyalgia, it can be helpful to remember that it isn’t the whole of our life or the whole of who you are. We need to find outlets for ourselves and our expression that bring love, peace and enjoyment into our lives while on the journey to healing. We also can look beyond the experience of Fibromyalgia and see or envision ourselves whole, healthy and fulfilled.

As a result of having fibromyalgia I explored areas of myself and experiences in my life that have brought me great peace, contentment, empowerment and inner strength. I am a more whole and complete person as a result of my illness. I have learned a great deal about human behavior, health, wellness and spirituality. I have found my own unique voice and each day give way to my authentic self.  This is a result of the inner work that I did along the way.

I am grateful for this and love the person who I have become. Healing all parts of myself, physical, emotional, mental, expression and spiritual, became the journey. That journey will continue as I grow and evolve.

 

My wish for you

When I talk with women who have fibromyalgia, I can fully relate to their pain and their experience of fibromyalgia. I have no doubt of the real pain, physical, emotional or mental that they experience. I was there. While I didn’t experience exactly where you are and what you experience, I know what it is like to be in massive pain and suffering on all levels.

My wish for you is that you find your unique path to the experience of Beyond Fibromyalgia. My commitment to you is to share my experience and what I have learned in my long and agonizing journey with fibromyalgia. I often think that if I knew then what I know today, I could have saved many years of pain and suffering.

I will continue to offer free information and reasonably priced offerings to assist you on your journey to wellness.

Feel free to ask for assistance. You can reach out through my contact form.

May you be on a journey to beyond fibromyalgia,

❤️Bindu

6 Steps to Neutralize Negative Thinking

6 Steps to Neutralize Negative Thinking

Did you know that trauma hijacks your mind? 

We have explored the impact of trauma on our nervous system.  When we experience trauma, our nervous system can become disregulated and we can be in sympathetic dominate (fight or flight) or parasympathetic dominate (freeze or immobilize).


The state of your nervous system has a profound impact on your mind.

I certainly have experienced this.  More so in the past, but even now if I get triggered by something.

On days that I wake up fatigued (parasympathetic dominate), life feels like an unbearable burden.  I have no ambition, and my mind fills with thoughts of not being good enough, my life is over, why do I even try.   I can’t do this.  You get the picture.

When something happens to trigger my fears (sympathetic dominate), it feels like there is danger no matter which direction I go.   Life isn’t safe.  My thoughts reinforce those feelings.  I think that nobody likes me.  I think that something bad is going to happen.  How can I protect myself from danger?  What do I need to do to keep myself safe?

Over time, I realized that if I fought my mind at these times, it was a never-ending stressful struggle, and I was on the loosing end.


What to do?

I know that negative thinking can literally be painful.  To be caught in the never-ending stream of negative thoughts kills your spirit and dampens your enthusiasm for life.

Yet fighting it only makes it stronger.  The negative thinking part seems to enjoy the battle.  It is said that the pain-body feeds itself by creating chaos.  And negative thinking is one way to do this.  Fighting the negative thinking feeds the chaos.

There is a saying, “What you resist, persists”.

But there is a way to neutralize negative thinking.


6 steps to neutralize negative thinking.

  1. Acknowledge that your mind is caught in a negative thinking loop.

Awareness takes some of the power away from the negative loop.  It is easier for your subconscious pain body to control you when you are unaware.

  1. Place your hand on your heart and take some long deep breaths.

Breathing in for 2 -4 counts and then exhaling for 4- 8 counts.  What matters here is that the outbreath is longer than the in breath.

Placing the hand on your heart connects you to your inner self.

The deeper breaths help to regulate the nervous system and bring you into a more regulated state which allows for conscious choice.

  1. Become curious about the negative thoughts.

Watch the thoughts with curiosity and interest.  The part of you who is thinking negative thoughts will feel heard and seen.  Which is what it wants and needs.

  1. Ask that part what it is feeling.

By acknowledging the underlying feeling further disarms the negative thinking.  By acknowledging the emotion, that part will again feel heard and seen.  Emotions are the fuel for the negative thoughts.

  1. Ask that part what it needs.

Under every negative emotion is an unmet need.  Acknowledging and responding to the unmet need can dispel the negative emotions.

  1. Provide some reassuring positive statements based on the need of the wounded part and/or take action if needed.

What does that part need to hear from you?  Perhaps the wounded part just needs to be heard and acknowledged.  Perhaps it needs to know it is safe or loved.

If that part needs you to take action, do that.  By responding to the need, you will develop a relationship based on mutual respect and trust with the part that was in need and your deeper self.


This practice can become a new way of being

In the beginning, this can seem challenging and even weird.  But over time, you will develop a deeper relationship with your wounded parts.  Our wounded parts arose out of trauma and didn’t get their needs met at the time of the trauma.

You might even consider some of these parts bad or wrong.  That is also the result of trauma.  We exile or abandon parts of who we are.  And we develop protective parts to keep them suppressed and to avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions.

These parts act out in unconscious ways to maintain the status quo.  Status quo feels safe because it is known.  But they also hold us back from healing our trauma and moving forward with our lives.


True Healing

True healing occurs when we acknowledge, embrace, and heal all our parts.  They all have something to offer us, and they all have a positive role to play in our lives.

If you need support around this, feel free to connect with me.  I offer Inner Presence sessions where I support you in exploring the underlying causes of negative thinking, negative emotional states, and trauma.  It can be challenging to do this on your own, as your own protective parts will often get in the way.

If interested in exploring this, send me a message via my contact form or respond to this email.  I can offer a complementary 20-minute consultation to explore whether working with me seems right for you.


May you be healed, 💗Bindu

 

Finding Inner Peace

Finding Inner Peace

What is it you most want in life?

This is a great question to ask yourself.

But don’t jump on the first response.

Why not?

Drill down.

If you had what you most wanted, how would you feel?

Would you feel happy, content, satisfied, safe, victorious, empowered?

Or something else?

What is your heart’s deepest desire?

By asking the deeper questions, you are seeking a deeper response.

You will discover your deeper motivations.

You will discover your core values. 


Why are core values important?

  1. Core values align with your deepest needs.
  2. Core values can become the river through which your energy flows.
  3. Core values can guide your decision making.
  4. Core values help you to connect with a deeper part of you.
  5. The more you align with your core values, the more inner peace you will feel. 


My Experience

There was a time in my life that I felt very conflicted and confused.  I was unhappy in my situation.  I was in an abusive environment.  After connecting with a deeper part of myself, I adopted the statement: 


Whatever comes to me, give love back.

And I strove to do that.  Not always successful, but it changed my life.  I discovered that by staying in the situation, I was not being loving to myself.  I also was able to disengage and move away from where I was.  I was also very respectful as possible to others as I did this.  It simply felt good to me.   I was able to leave with my head held high and knew I did the best I could.  It gave me a sense of Inner Peace. 


Take some time this week to sit with this.

Consider it an act of self-love and self-care.

  • Is there something that you are struggling with?
  • What change in your life might this help?
  • What core value will assist you in moving through this? 


May you align with your heart.  💕Bindu

 

Where are You? Where do you want to be?

Where are You? Where do you want to be?

Honestly, that is a very vague question.  So, let me clarify.

The real question is, where are you in regard to your nervous system and how does that impact your life experience and fibromyalgia?   And what can you do about it?

Our Autonomic Nervous System controls much of the activity in the body.  It has two branches, the Sympathetic Nervous System and the Parasympathetic Nervous System and the Enteric Nervous System. 

Today we will focus on the Sympathetic Nervous System and the Parasympathetic Nervous System.   Both have a direct connection to the organ systems in your body. 

In a healthy person, these two nervous systems balance each other.  The Sympathetic gets us up in the morning and keeps us moving during the day so we can function in the world.  The Parasympathetic nervous system slows us down so we can sleep, and the body can rest and repair.   They both are connected to the organ systems in the body to make sure they function properly and can rest, repair and rejuvenate. 

The two naturally work in harmony with each other to keep us healthy. 

When we have experienced trauma, negative life experiences and ongoing stress, the automatic nervous system becomes disregulated.   We can become stuck in either the sympathetic or parasympathetic or take wild swings from one to the other. 

Why is this important to know?

For women with fibromyalgia, this is important because a dysregulated nervous system can be a contributing factor to our fibro symptoms and/or can block healing and recovery from fibromyalgia.

If you know “where you are” meaning “where is your nervous system”, you can take steps to regulate your nervous system and bring it back into balance.  That is a big step in fibromyalgia recovery. 

Your nervous system can be in a state of Sympathetic Dominance, or Parasympathetic Dominance, or swing wildly from one to the other. Or sometimes both are activated.  Or it can be in a balanced or regulated state.

The lists below for each state will provide information for you to consider as you observe your experience.  This will help you to understand where your nervous system is.

Sympathetic Dominance

If your sympathetic nervous system is dominate, you will be in a state of hyper-arousal or fight or flight.  Some of the signs of being in Sympathetic Dominance are:

Signs of hyper arousal: 

  • Fight, flight
  • Overwhelm
  • Rigid and inflexible
  • Impulsivity
  • Tension
  • Anxiety, panic
  • Insomnia
  • Defensiveness
  • Restlessness
  • Intrusive Imagery
  • Phobias
  • Self-destructive behavior
  • Addictions
  • Overeating or restricted eating
  • Obsessive rumination
  • Rage, irritability
  • Emotional reactivity
  • Exaggerated startle response
  • Feeling unsafe

Parasympathetic Dominance

If your parasympathetic nervous system is dominate, you will be in a state of hypo-arousal aka Shutdown or Immobilization.  Some of the signs of being in Parasympathetic Dominance are: 

Signs of Hypo-Activation 

  • Shutdown
  • Reduced Awareness of Sensation
  • Emotionally numb or flat
  • Unable to think
  • Dissociation
  • Memory impairment
  • Sleepy/unable to stay awake.
  • Spacy
  • Withdrawn
  • Unable to actively defend yourself
  • Collapsed
  • Fainting
  • Unable to Move
  • Reduced Physical Movement
  • Lethargy / No energy
  • Disconnected
  • Depressed
  • Passive
  • Ashamed
  • Less Verbal
  • Disappearing

Signs of a balanced nervous system

What you may not know is what it feels like to have a normal balanced nervous system, that easily flows from one to the other as needed as your move through your day. If you have had trauma, ongoing stress, or negative life experiences in early childhood, you might have never experienced a balanced nervous system.  I certainly didn’t. 

What is the experience of a balanced nervous system?

  • You can feel your emotions and think about them at the same time.
  • Feelings and experiences are tolerable.
  • Access to compassion and empathy – toward yourself and others.
  • Ability to learn.
  • Able to be present.
  • Able to be curious about your feelings rather than reactive, defensive, or judgmental.
  • Feeling grounded and calm
  • Able to feel connected in a mutual relationship.
  • Creative
  • Courage
  • Confidence
  • Clarity
  • Contentment
  • Inner Peace

Where are you?

As you read over the lists, what resonates with you?  Which state or states do you experience frequently.  Here are some questions to consider: 

  1. Do you relate to one list or both?
  2. Do you swing from one to the other?
  3. Do you have normal healthy swings from sympathetic to parasympathetic?
  4. Do you have large dramatic swings from sympathetic to parasympathetic?
  5. Do you stay stuck in one or the other?
  6. Are there people or events that will trigger either hypo (parasympathetic) or hyper (sympathetic) activation?
  7. If you become triggered into one or the other states, can you get yourself out?

Keep in Mind . . .

Keep in mind that you will naturally have ups and downs in life.  The nervous system will keep moving from parasympathetic to sympathetic naturally.   And that both are needed to navigate the normal, natural ups and downs of life.    The problem is when one or the other dominates and we get stuck or have wild swings from parasympathetic  to sympathetic.    

Take sometime this coming week to become more aware of  “where you are” in relation to your  nervous system as you go through your day.   Print out the lists and post them where you can see them or carry one with you.  

Awareness is the first step in creating change.  Simply by being aware of where your nervous system is will begin to create change.  Over the last several blogs and newsletters, I have provided some simple practices that can bring you to a balanced nervous system.  The change can be subtle, and it can take some consistent practice over a period of time. 

Also in my upcoming programs, Reconnect with Your Calm Inner Presence and An Introduction to the Integrative Wholeness Experience, we will go more deeply into how to create and maintain a balanced health nervous system. 

Stay tuned. 

May your nervous system be balanced and healthy,  💕Bindu

The Fibromyalgia Matrix

The Fibromyalgia Matrix

When I first learned about fibromyalgia, I was excited . . . and then disappointed.

After 20 years of suffering, there was a name for what was going on with me. I thought that meant that it could be cured. I was sorely disappointed. I found that just because there was a name for what was wrong with me, didn’t mean that anyone knew how to heal it. 

I wanted to be healthy.

So, I pulled up my bootstraps and began applying what I had learned in my explorations of holistic health and consulted with holistic practitioners. By that time, I had given up on medical doctors as they had nothing to offer me that made any significant difference. In pulling it all together, I came to a place where I could manage my symptoms, but not make any real progress on completely eliminating them.  I wanted more. I wanted to be healthy and not live within the limitations of having fibromyalgia. I felt like I was living in a box and had to carefully manage my life to maintain a manageable level of pain and fatigue.  

 

Managing my symptoms wasn’t enough.

My search continued. I slowly began unraveling the underlying causes of my dis-ease.  Piece by piece, I began to resolve physical, mental, emotional, expression and spiritual imbalances that were keeping my stuck, unhappy and sick.   Realizing that there was not one thing that would fix or heal what was wrong with me, I coined the term the Fibromyalgia Matrix. 

 

Fibromyalgia Matrixtm

The Fibromyalgia Matrix is the interweaving and interconnected physical, emotional, mental, energetic and spiritual imbalances that underlies the experience of fibromyalgia. Each person’s matrix is unique to them, just like a fingerprint is unique. The Fibromyalgia Matrix creates chaos physically, emotionally, mentally, energetically. No foundation, no stability, impaired function, chaos, nothing to stand or build on. Sound familiar? 

 

Recovery from fibromyalgia! 

Recovery from fibromyalgia is a process of identifying and resolving these imbalances. It is quite like putting a puzzle together. You find the right pieces and put them together in the right sequence. Out of chaos comes order and improved function. As the pieces of the puzzle are found and put together, symptoms go away, health emerges, and peace is restored.  

Rather than chase symptoms, we find and resolve the underlying imbalances. That is the path to creating true health on all levels. 

 

The 8 fold process 

By moving through the 8-fold process I spoke about last week, we can unravel the Fibromyalgia Matrix, and progressively rebuild our health, reclaim our life, rediscover our joy and align with our purpose.   True health is much more than the elimination of physical symptoms. It is embracing the totality of who we are, body, mind, emotions, energy and spirit with love and compassion and reclaiming our uniqueness and our gifts and living successfully, powerfully and joyfully in the world. 

 

An Introduction to the Integrative Wholeness Experience to the Rescue!

That my friends, is what I am about. Are you ready to join me in this grand adventure? I hope so. That is why I am launching the Introduction to the Integrative Wholeness Experience next month. In this program, we can come together to heal individually and collectively. I’m excited about this. I hope you are too.  

Stay tuned, look for more information about the Integrative Wholeness Experience. 

May you be whole, 💕Bindu 


Coming Soon!  Stay tuned for details.