We are taught in our society to suppress our emotions. 

That is a huge travesty.  

Often depression and chronic anxiety is caused by not feeling our emotions.  The habit of suppressing our emotions creates a backlog.  That backlog of unfelt emotions can feel very overwhelming.  When we suppress our negative emotions, we also suppress our ability to feel positive emotions.  By becoming more aware of our emotions, and allowing ourselves to feel them, we can reduce the backlog and move towards emotional freedom. 

What if much of what you feel is from your past?

What if much of the anxiety you feel has nothing to do with your present?  What if much of the sadness that you feel is trapped emotions from your past?  When you encounter experiences in your present that remind you of the past experience, the emotion comes up. 

The emotional hamster wheel 

When an emotion comes up, we can spend years, trying to change our outer circumstance so that we don’t feel the emotion.  That is a hamster wheel that never ends.  And it creates its own stress.  

We have all kinds of defense mechanisms that we use to avoid feeling our emotions.  Over thinking, creating a story about it, analyzing, obsessing, blaming others, blaming ourselves, isolating ourselves, going to numerous practitioners, trying to change our circumstances, taking masses of supplements, etc.   

Freeing ourself from trapped emotions 

The only way to free yourself from an emotion is to feel it.  Emotion stands for energy in motion.  When you do not feel an emotion, it does not move through you and it gets stuck.  When it gets stuck in your energy field, it continually sends a signal to your nervous system which contributes to insomnia.  It also blocks the flow of energy in your meridians and interferes with the functioning of the body and organs. 

A suggested practice to help you feel emotions 

Here is a practice that can help you to feel your emotions and release them.  When you feel an emotion coming on:

1. Deepen your breath.
2. Feel the emotion whether it be sadness, anger, fear, etc.
3. Avoid getting into an internal dialogue about the emotion.
4. Remind yourself that you don’t need to act on the emotion.
5. Keep saying, “this is only an energy that is moving through me. I am willing to feel it and let it go”
6. Try this for 5 minutes.
7. Notice if there is a difference. 

Afterwards, take some time to reflect on your experience.  Did this help?  Were you able to do it?  Did it feel to scary to feel an emotion?  

Let go of any self-judgments that might have come up.  This takes time and practice.    Post in the “I Want to be Healthy” Facebook page any questions about your experience.  We are in this together. 

May you be happy, may you be peaceful, may you be free. 

Bindu

Healing the Emotional Body 

The Beyond Fibromyalgia program is a comprehensive system of healing and balancing all aspects of who we are, including our body, emotions, mind, expression and spirit.  The emotional dimension is our heart and the center of our feelings and emotions.  It is linked to our soul.  It provides the power to move us forward in our lives, adds flavor to our experiences and connects us to our soul wisdom. 

In this article, we are going to introduce 10 steps to support in healing your heart as part of your overall wellness program.  The steps will find their way to you and that may not be linear.  As you read the steps below, listen for the ones that resonate with you at this time and honor that.  

1. Feel and Honor your emotions
2. Release stored emotional energy
3. Heal unresolved negative memories
4. Develop compassion
5. Love yourself
6. Forgive yourself and others
7. Flow positive emotions
8. Develop your heart energies
9. Touch others with gentleness and kindness
10. Allow your emotions/feelings to guide you

1.  Feel and honor your emotions

Contrary to popular thought, emotions are not bad.  Imagine that.  Our emotions are the quality that brings life and feeling to our experience.  E-motion stands for energy in motion; energy that was designed to move.  Think about the expression that we were ‘moved’ by something.  Yep, that is your emotions speaking to you.  Our emotions add vibrancy, aliveness and color to each moment.  Our emotions can range from unbridled joy to absolute terror with everything in between.  Our emotions are a gift from the Creator to assist us in navigating our experience on earth.  Positive feelings let us know we are going in the right direction; negative feelings are a message to pause and reassess.  They are a thing to be appreciated, enjoyed and celebrated. 

For the most part, we have been taught to ignore and suppress our emotions.  We try to hang on to the positive ones and push away the negative ones.  We are afraid to feel our emotions, both positive and negative.  We particularly are afraid of the negative emotions.  We have been told “big girls don’t cry” and other such non-sense.  When emotions are ignored, belittled and suppressed, the energy is not allowed to move as intended.  And this stuck energy builds up in our system and can contribute to physical pain, insomnia, and other physical symptoms.  

To begin the process of healing the emotional dimension simply be more aware of and notice your emotional landscape.  

2.  Release stored emotional energy

When emotional energy is felt and allowed, the landscape constantly changes and we feel vibrant and alive.  Each moment is new and fresh.  This is why people are so drawn to babies.  They have not suppressed their emotional energy.  They feel it all and allow it to move and flow.  That is why there is an aliveness in babies and small children that we are drawn to.  We want to feel that aliveness within ourselves.  

When we ignore and suppress our emotional energy, our senses are diminished and our aliveness is dulled. The energy gets ‘stuck’ inside and forms a cyclical pattern attempting to move and resolve itself.  It will attract situations to it to assist it in getting unstuck.  Do you ever wonder why you keep attracting the same negative situations to you again and again?  A part of you is attracting situations to you to ‘move’ the stuck energy and thereby free you from the cyclical pattern.  Or, do you over react to situations?  The over reaction is the stored energy trying to move.  Another problem with suppressing emotions is that when you don’t allow yourself to feel the negative emotions, you are also blocking your ability to feel the positive emotions and joy and love are not able to be felt.  Along with physical problems, the stuck emotional energy also contributes to negative mental patterns and a disconnection with our spiritual essence.  

Step 2 of healing the emotional dimension is to release the buildup of stored emotional energy in a healthy way and regain your aliveness.  

3.  Heal unresolved negative memories

Our true nature is one of love, peace and joy.  We were made in the likeness and image of God.   We are powerful creators.  We each have a purpose for being on this earth and an authenticity that wants to be expressed.  Our conscious mind may say that we want to experience love, joy, peace, contentment and empowerment.  But our experience does not reflect this.  Why is this so? 

As humans, we have a conscious mind and a sub and unconscious mind.   We are a bit like an iceberg.  The conscious mind is like the tip of the iceberg that we can see.  The sub and unconscious minds are like the bulk of the iceberg that lies beneath the surface.  All of our memories in this life time as well as memories from our ancestors and other time space dimensions are stored in the sub and unconscious mind.  Some of these memories are positive and life affirmative, some are negative and life destructive.  These memories are stored as images in the cells of our body.  These ‘memories’ have more control on our choices and actions than our conscious mind does.  That is why will power does not always work or may only work temporarily.  That is why you don’t always get what you think that you want.  That is why the power of positive thinking doesn’t always work.  

Until we bring to the surface and heal or neutralize these memories, they will always interfere with our dreams, goals and desires.  So step 3 in healing the emotional dimension is to heal or neutralize the negative cellular memories.  

4.  Develop compassion

In the journey of healing our emotional dimension, compassion is essential.  Compassion is the quality of complete acceptance of ourselves, others or an event along with a healing flow of love.  From a place of compassion, we can be neutral in our evaluation and choose our actions with clarity and purpose.  

On the journey of healing our emotional dimension, we will be confronted with aspects of ourselves and mental and emotional memories that we have judged as bad or wrong.  We will need to feel the emotional pain that we have suppressed in order to survive in the world.  Part of the process of healing is allowing those emotions and memories to surface without judgment or releasing judgment as it surfaces.  Only in acknowledging releasing the judgment, can we allow the memories and emotions to surface and be healed.  In our relationships with others releasing judgment and having compassion towards other is key in creating lasting healthy, happy, intimate relationships. 

5.   Love Yourself

To love yourself means to absolutely and unconditionally accept yourself including all the wonderful, beautiful and amazing things about yourself and all of the horrible and unacceptable things and idiosyncrasies that you detest about yourself.  You are perfect just as you are.  You are a wonderful beautiful expression of the divine.  Nothing less, bet possibly even more.  

We have been brought up to believe that we have to show up in a certain way to be loved and accepted.  We have been taught that who we truly are, our authentic self, is somehow less than lovable and acceptable.  In order to attempt to be loved, we have put on many masks and costumes and personalities.  All the time, our true authentic self lives within and is dying to express herself.  

Part of healing is to release the mask, costumes and personalities that we have taken on to be accepted by others and rediscover our authentic self that lives within and then allow her to shine into the world.  In order to release the masks, costumes and personalities, we have to be able to see, feel and hear them at a deep level without judgment.  

6.  Forgive

Forgiveness is the act of compassion in action.  It takes the compassion and the self-love that we have developed and directs it inward and outward.  Forgiveness frees our self from the chains that bind us to resentment, negative events and negative people in our history.   It allows us to move forward unfettered into the life we dream of.  It frees our body and mind from stress and anxiety.  It allows us to see the beauty within ourselves and others.  It opens us up to the reality of personal responsibility. 

We sometimes think that by holding on to a grudge, we are protecting ourselves from being hurt again.  In reality, holding a grudge is like pulling off the scab of a wound again and again never allowing the wound to heal.  It is like twisting the knife shoved in the gut rather than pulling out the knife and discarding it.  Forgiveness does not mean that we are accepting the actions of another person.  It simply means that we are willing to acknowledge that they were doing the best they could and that we are willing to release them and move forward with our life. 

When we forgive, we let go of the injustice, the wounds and the pain.  We free ourselves, God, and others to move to a more empowered expression of the next grandest expression of our divinity.  

7.  Flow positive emotions

When we are flowing positive emotions outward to others or even objects, we are the first recipient of that emotion/energy.  Positive emotions are healing and pleasant. They are the fuel that assist us in manifesting our dreams more quickly and ensure the positive quality of the manifestation of that dream.  We all like feeling love, peace, contentment, joy.  The truth is that we have the capacity to generate those feelings within ourselves and express them outward into our world.  

We often look outside of ourselves for the experience of positive emotions.  If someone else loves us, we can feel love.  If the circumstances of our life is just so or we have the right job, we will feel safe and secure and at peace.  We look to vacations to feel a sense of relaxation or exciting adventures to feel alive.  This keeps us caught in the hamster wheel of constantly trying to control the externals of our life or seeking situations to give us the inner experience that we crave.  This is a hit and miss situation at best.  We can never control the external world all the time and our endless searching outside of our self for an experience is costly and takes us in the wrong direction. 

We can develop the ability to generate the feelings we want to feel within our self.  That way, we are not a victim of our circumstances; we are self-sufficient, and empowered from within.  And our experience is more of what we want to experience; peace, love, joy, and empowerment or whatever you choose.  

8.  Develop Positive Heart Energies 

When I talk about the heart, I am talking about the energetic heart within each of us.  Each experience we have is an opportunity to express a heart energy.  If someone is mean to you, it gives you the opportunity to express understanding and compassion.  If you experience an ongoing challenge in your life, it gives you the opportunity to express persistence and determination.  If someone or something leaves you, it is an opportunity to express opportunity.  

Often, we focus on pushing away the negative experience, not wanting to feel it.  That just keeps us stuck in the same old experience.  Rather than pushing away the negative, we have the opportunity to fully feel it and then bring in the missing heart/positive energy.  We have the opportunity to bring compassion, love, peace, patience, generosity, understanding or many other positive qualities to the situation.  As we invite the positive energy into the situation, we grow our capacity and connection with that energy.  It becomes stronger in us and more natural to express in our daily life. 

9.  Touch others with gentleness and kindness

‘The meek shall inherit the earth’ is a quote from the Bible.  It is so true.  Those who love will become strong.  Those who express understanding, gentleness and kindness carry a strength that nothing can conquer.  Love, gentleness and kindness are akin to our true nature.  Our true nature is an expression of the divinity within us.  Nothing can harm or destroy that divinity.   

Many of us have been raised in an environment of fear and competition.  There is not enough.  I have to fight for or take what I need or I will be left without or behind.  Being gentle and kind does not mean to roll over and let someone stomp on you.  It means being strong within yourself, energetically stronger than your challenges or seeming adversaries.  We all have everything that we need within ourselves.  Once we touch that deep well, we do not need to argue or defend ourselves.  We can allow others to be as they are and ourselves to be as we are.  This is true freedom. 

10.  Allow your emotions/feelings to guide you

As I said in the beginning, our emotions are a gift from the Creator to assist us in navigating our experience on earth.  Positive feelings let us know we are going in the right direction; negative feelings are a message to pause and reassess.  They are a thing to be appreciated, enjoyed and celebrated.  Subtle positive and negative feelings replace the gross emotions of fear, hate, joy, love.  

As we feel our emotions, clean out the negative repressed emotions and heal unresolved negative cellular memories, we become lighter and more clear.  It is like cleaning the grime off of a window.  We can see through the window for the first time.  As we develop compassion, self love and forgiveness, we envelop ourselves with a cloak of love and positive energy.  As we flow positive emotions, express heart energies, and touch others with kindness and gentleness, we are expressing the love that we are into the world. 

The final step happens naturally and spontaneously.  We become attuned to the vibration of love.  We are very aware of any energies that are clouding or in opposition to that energy.  We understand that love is the well that nurture and fills us with life.  As we make choices in our life, we will naturally move toward the choice that is full of light and love and away from choices that bring a negative feeling.  The heart is then healed and can truthfully guide us as it was intended to do.

A open heart provides us energy and enthusiasm for life

The heart is the part of us that is most ignored in many healing, spiritual and holistic traditions.  We attempt to heal the body, to think positive thought and to connect with spirit.  Body, Mind, Spirit is a well-known trinity.  But without healing the heart, the trinity is incomplete.  The electromagnetic charge of the heart is 50 times more powerful than the brain.  If the heart contains unhealed negative cellular memories, the mind will need to create negative stories to try to understand this experience, the body will suffer from the stress created by the memories, and the connection to spirit will be diminished by the fog just as the sun is covered by a cloud.    Healing the emotional dimension has a healing effect on the entire energy field that is you.

May your heart open and fill you with bliss,

Bindu

Emotions and Fibromyalgia

The emotional experience for women with fibromyalgia is very challenging.  Often, we experience depression, anxiety and a host of other unpleasant emotions.   Part of rebuilding your health means creating a healthy relationship with your emotions or your emotional body.

The impact of our emotional history

As children, we were often raised in an emotionally toxic environment.  Sometimes filled with fear, anger, sadness and everything in between.  As children, we unknowingly absorb the emotions we are exposed to.  This is especially true if we are empaths; many women with fibromyalgia are empaths.

We are often trained to suppress our emotions.  We were told as children that what we were feeling wasn’t ok or that it wasn’t ok for us to express it. Were you ever told that “big girls don’t cry” or “be a man (or big boy) and don’t cry” or “you have to be strong” or “you have nothing to cry about”?  Sometimes our parents simply taught us to suppress our emotions by not being able to feel their own emotions.

Our emotions are a valuable part of who we are.

In truth, our emotions are a valuable part of who we are.  They empower us when we know how to relate to them in a healthy way.  Blocking, ignoring or suppressing our emotions is never helpful.  To create a healthy relationship with our emotional dimension, we need to feel, honor, respect and listen to our emotions.

If you have a loss, it is important to let yourself grieve and that often includes feeling sad and allowing yourself to cry.   If you feel sad all the time, chances are that there is some suppressed sadness from your past that wants to be felt.  If someone has treated you unfairly or abusively, your anger may be your emotional dimension’s way of communicating this to you.  You anger is telling you that you need to take you power back.   This doesn’t mean being mean back.  It doesn’t mean creating a power struggle.  But it might mean saying no, leaving the situation or communicating in a way that preserves your dignity, integrity and safety.  If you feel frightened, you will want to inquire into the fear to understand if there is a real and current threat or if you are just re-experiencing a painful memory from your past.  Once you know this, then you can respond or adjust accordingly.

Suppressing our emotions impacts our health and happiness

Allowing ourselves to feel our emotions and letting them move through us is always helpful.  Think of an emotion as energy in motion.  If you block it, that energy gets stuck within you and will create a block in your energy flow and can create problems down the road.

These energetic blocks not only block the negative emotion that you don’t want to feel, but also block positive emotions, such as joy and happiness.  If you suppress an emotion, it will continually want to be felt, which give rise to the ongoing experience of sadness or anxiety.  Until you feel the emotion and let the energy move, it will be a drain your energy.  Depression often is simply the experience of a build up of blocked emotions.

Blocked emotions also impact the functioning of our physical body.  When there is a blocked emotion, it also blocks the flow of energy in the physical body, which results in compromised function of the organs in that same area of the body.  Have you every heard of someone having a broken heart and then experiencing heart problems?  If a person can adequately feel and release the grief, the heart problem can also resolve.

The art of feeling emotions in a positive way

Feeling an emotion doesn’t mean acting out on it.  It simply means feeling it and letting it go.  Once the emotion/feeling/energy has moved through you, you will have more clarity as to how to address the situation.  Once the energy has moved through you, you might not need to do anything. Situations sometimes magically resolve themselves.  You might need to communicate to another person or take a particular action.  But that communication or action will come from self love rather than from anger . . . and that is a huge difference.

Another way to bring more balance to the emotional dimension is to practice flowing positive emotions.  You can do this at any time at any place.  One great way to flow positive emotion is to simply smile.  Give it a try right now and notice how it changes how you feel inside.  You can bring to mind a pleasant memory or think of a loved one or a pet that brings you a positive feeling.  Pay another person a genuine compliment or give a small gift to someone.  Feeling and expressing gratitude is a very powerful way to flow positive emotions.

Self Inquiry to understand your current relationship with emotions

The first step in creating a healthy relationship with our emotions is understanding where we are now.  Take some time this week, to reflect on your relationship with your emotions.  Do you suffer from depression?  Do you have high anxiety?  Do your emotions frighten you?  Do you feel joy?  Are you in an environment where it is safe to feel and express your emotions?

You can post comments and questions below or on the Facebook page.

If you would like assistance creating a health relationship with your emotions sign up for a Complimentary Discovery Session.   Together we can explore your needs and work together to find resolution and freedom from emotional baggage.

Happy Healing.   Bindu

All emotions are a gift.  They are a necessary part of who we are.  Our life force is contained in our emotions.  

Anger is a very powerful emotion.  When we are angry it is a sign that our boundries have been invaded or that we are giving our power away.

Years ago, I realized that when I was angry, it was because I was giving my power away to something or someone else.  As I became aware of this, I could make different choices and begin to reclaim my power.

What is the underlying source of your anger?  Have your boundaries been violated?  Are you giving your power away?   Something else?  

This week, contemplate on the source of your anger.  Look at where it is coming from and ask yourself how you can reclaim your power.