Personal Benefits of Kindness

Personal Benefits of Kindness

Personal Benefits of Kindness

The benefits from kindness are more than just feeling good. Kindness affects both our emotional and physical body in different ways.  Here are some of the benefits of being and showing kindness to others.

  • Kindness slows down the aging process. People who volunteer tend to experience less aches and pains than others. Kindness and helping others will protect your health in the same way aspirin helps against heart disease.
  • It improves our relationships and connections with others. Kindness helps us relate to other people and have more positive relationships with everyone we encounter.
  • Kindness increases happiness. In a study by The Journal of Social Psychology, who practiced an act of kindness or tried something new each day enjoyed a higher level of happiness than those who didn’t make any changes.
  • The release of feel-good hormones happens from acts of kindness. Doing nice things for others can increase your serotonin levels. These are the neurotransmitters responsible for our feelings of satisfaction and well-being. Kindness also releases the endorphins known as the “helper’s high”.
  • Kindness improves our own self-respect and self-love. It makes us happier and in a better mood more often by doing kind acts often. Buy someone coffee or lunch, help someone in need or volunteer your time to get the pick-me-up you need.
  • Kindness helps prevent illnesses caused from inflammation. These health problems include diabetes, cancer, chronic pain, obesity and migraines. Volunteering seems to lower the levels of inflammation. Oxytocin is released, even from small acts of kindness, which in turn reduces inflammation. Share a smile, make a donation, help others in some small to feel the effects of kindness.
  • Kindness eases your anxiety, whether it’s mild nervousness or you’re having severe panic. Being nice to others is one of the easiest and most inexpensive ways to fight of anxiety. Look for ways to help others when you are feeling anxious. Smile at someone, call a friend or lend your time to an organization.
  • It is good for your heart. Kindness not only makes your heart feel good; it also affects the actual chemical balance of your heart. It releases the hormone oxytocin which reduces blood pressure thereby protecting the heart.
  • Kindness helps reduce stress. Helping others lets you move away from your own worries and problems.

For those of us with fibromyalgia, taking on extra responsibilities may be daunting or impossible.  If that is the case, begin at home.  Begin where you are.  How can you offer simple acts of kindness in your everyday life?  A smile, a kind word, a compliment.  Holding back on an unkind word.  

Remember yourself among those you are kind to.  Compliment yourself.  Remind yourself of the things that you are strong in.  Counter an inner criticism with a compliment.  Stop a moment to take a breath or gaze at a flower.   

Incorporate the smallest acts of kindness every day. You’ll notice changes in how it affects your life and begin to see the ripple effects on other people as well.

 

May you experience kindness in your heart.

Until next week, 💗Bindu

That I Feed the Hungry

That I Feed the Hungry

Food for thought.

Men and Women with fibromyalgia are kind giving souls.

Yet, do you hold yourself with the same love and caring as you do for others?

Are you able to hold the abandoned, isolated, exiled and hidden parts of yourself with love and compassion?

Can you give to yourself what was withheld by your family?

Can you ask for what you need?

Can you tend to your own needs?

 May you hold your self with all the love and compassion that you provide for others.

💗Bindu

Cultivating Joy and Kindness

Cultivating Joy and Kindness

Fibromyalgia is a devastating illness.  Not only are we in pain all or most of the time, but it impacts every area of our life.

It challenges our relationships.  It can limit our career and ability to express ourselves in the world.  It brings anxiety and depression daily.  It limits our ability to socialize and enjoy it.  It steals our sense of self worth and well-being.

It can completely take over our life and sense of self.

 

Emphasize the Positive

Yet, we can bring some balance and sense of self by emphasizing the positive.   One of my favorite teachers taught me that we had to balance our experience by emphasizing the positive.

Especially with fibromyalgia, there is so much negative experience on a daily basis it can be very easy to be consumed by it.  To the extent that it can become our identity.  We forget who we really are.

During my worst years of my fibromyalgia, I was nearly consumed by it.  My saving grace was my practice of yoga and meditation along with teaching yoga.  Those practices gave me a sense of who I was beyond the fibromyalgia.  They brought love, joy and peace into my life.  And helped me greatly.

Since then, I have learned more ways to emphasize the positive on a regular basis.

 

Challenges of Emphasizing the Positive

I understand the challenges of emphasizing the positive.  There are days that you simply can’t do it.  On those days, practice compassion and kindness for yourself, accepting where you are.  That in and of itself is emphasizing the positive.

 

Joy

The idea of cultivating joy had always been something that I didn’t think I could do.  Joy seemed to be out of my reach.  Then one of my teachers explained that Joy wasn’t jumping around in a state of bliss.

Joy could be finding peace in reading an inspirational book or listening to some calming music.  Or doing something that you love, gardening, drawing, watching a funny movie, having a talk with a dear friend.

Anything that you do that helps you to feel uplifted is cultivation joy.  The options are endless.  What do you do, or can you do that gives you a sense of peace, relaxation, or upliftment?  That is you cultivating joy.

 

Kindness

Kindness to yourself and others is a wonderful balm for the heart, mind and emotions.  Even if you are having a horrible day, if you are compassionate with yourself, that is an act of kindness.  A smile or compliment to someone, whether a family member or stranger is an act of kindness.

I used to notice things I appreciated about people, like I liked a piece of jewelry or clothing that they were wearing, or a hair style.  Then I thought, why share that with them person.  It is remarkably amazing.  Lifts my spirit and theirs.

When you have a bad fibro day, kindness to yourself is your best ally.   That could look like sleeping and resting for the day, taking a nap, having a warm cup of tea.

How do you show kindness to yourself when you are having a rough day?

 

Peace and Love are offshoots of Kindness and Joy

When you are cultivating kindness and joy, peace and love are natural and flowing.  It brings you in touch with your heart, your needs, and your self-love.

 

Contemplation for this week

This week, take some time to contemplate where you are regarding cultivating joy and kindness or love, and peace or compassion into your life.  Easy?  Hard?  Got it mastered?  Could use some work?

Then make a list of things that you do or can do to cultivate joy and kindness in your life.  Get creative around this.  Here are some questions to consider.

  • What calms and relaxes you.
  • What brings you joy and delight.
  • How do you practice self-love and compassion?
  • What do you like to do?
  • How do you take care of yourself on a bad day?

By making a list, on those days when you are having a fibro flare and life seems miserable and never ending, you will have a list of things that you can do to navigate the day.

 

May you cultivate Joy and Kindness into your life, 💕Bindu

Are You Asking the Right Questions?

Are You Asking the Right Questions?

 

I was in the library the other day and came across a book entitled “Change Your Questions, Change Your Life”.   It reminded me of another book entitled, “The Secret Code of Success” by Noah St John that I read with a similar theme of considering what questions you ask and how changing the questions you ask can impact your life.

The essence of both books suggests that if you ask negative questions in your inner dialogue, you will get negative answers and negative results.  Here are some examples:

  1. Why am I always in pain?
  2. Why can’t I find a solution to relieve my pain?
  3. Why do I always screw up?
  4. Why doesn’t anyone like me?
  5. What is wrong with me?

You get the idea.  If you ask these question, you will get these kind of answers to those questions:

  1. I am always in pain because I have fibromyalgia.
  2. There is no solution to fibromyalgia, there is no cure, so I will have to live with this for the rest of my life.
  3. The third question will bring to mind all the mistakes you have made.
  4. The fourth question will bring up all the things that you think people don’t like about you.
  5. The Fifth question will bring to mind all the things that you think are wrong with you.

This first list of questions will hold you back in the status quo and work against improving your health.

 

Consider these questions instead:

  1. How can I reduce or remove my pain?
  2. How can I recover from fibromyalgia? Or “How can I rebuild my health? “
  3. What have I accomplished today?
  4. Why do people like me?
  5. What are my best qualities?
  6. What am I grateful for?

 

Noah St John also suggests the following:

  1. Why is it so easy to reduce the pain in my body?
  2. Why is it so easy to heal from fibromyalgia?
  3. Why is it so easy for me to be competent and accomplished?
  4. Why is it so easy for people to love and appreciate myself?
  5. Why is it so easy to be an awesome person?

 

My Experience with this

Years ago, when my fibromyalgia was really bad, I often asked the questions, Why do I hurt so much?  Why can’t I heal myself?    I was working with a wellness coach that suggested that for a full month focus on these statements and questions:

  1. My body is healing.
  2. How is my body healing?
  3. What does my body need to heal?
  4. What can I do to rebuild my health?
  5. Why is it so easy to recover from fibromyalgia?

In the beginning, it felt like a lie.  But for the whole month, I stuck with my phrases even though it felt wrong and untrue.  By the end of the month, I began to believe that I could heal my body and that it was healing.

This was a turning point in my journey with fibromyalgia.  I began seeing and receiving insights and signs and information that led me to truly improving my health.  I had to be open to the insights, signs, and information that I received, and put them into action.  Otherwise, I would not have improved.

 

Can you open your mind to the possibility that you can improve your health?

The medical community has declared that there is no cure for fibromyalgia.  That is true.

But in my experience, there is a lot we can do to improve our health.  I am living proof.  I have changed from being in excruciating pain all the time. And so fatigued, I could barely function.  I hated my life and often wished I could die.  I would lay in my bed in absolute torture with physical, mental and emotional torment.  I hated waking up in the morning because I didn’t want to face another day.

The song, “Sleep is the only Freedom that she Knows” was my theme song.  At least I had a few hours of sleep to get away from the torture that I lived every day.

 

Most of my symptoms are greatly improved and some non-existent.

Some of the symptoms have completely left, like irritable bladder, brain fog, insomnia, restless legs.  Some of the symptoms are mild, like pain and fatigue.

I used to have lots of skin irritation, burning, and itching.  That is mostly gone and only flares up on rare occasions.

Even as I write this, I know that I have forgotten many of the symptoms that were part of my daily experience.  They are even gone from my memory.

 

Yet, I am not completely free from fibromyalgia.

My main symptom now is IBS. When my intestines function properly, I feel great. When they flare up, other symptoms flare up. I experience increased pain, my mind and emotions get more negative, I am fatigued. I am still limited by this. 

The good news is that this is progressively healing as well.  I now understand what flares my IBS up and have an established protocol to heal it.  The healing process has its ups and downs.  But the ups are more frequent and long lasting, and the downs are not as bad, and I know what I need to get them back on track. 

I know it is on its way out and looking forward to that.

 

Play around with some of these ideas that I am sharing with you.

See if they resonate with you.  I wish for you relief from the ongoing fibromyalgia symptoms.

 

May you improve your health and reclaim your life.  Bindu 

14 Tips to Diffuse Anxiety

14 Tips to Diffuse Anxiety

People with fibromyalgia struggle with anxiety.  It is part of the fibromyalgia syndrome.  Fibromyalgia makes every area in our life more difficult including finances, relationship, family, and career.

We have a lot to be concerned about, not only our health, but the impact it has on our lives.  Add to that all the craziness on the planet right now leaves lots of space for worry and anxiety.

How can we manage or diffuse our anxiety?  

Below are several suggestions that can help to diffuse anxiety.

Step 1:  Breathe

Breathing might not seem like a big deal, but if you slow down and deepen your breath, you can connect to a calm inner presence and reduce your anxiety.  Here is a great article on how deep breathing eases anxiety.

 

Step 2:  Endeavor to witness the anxiety.

With any emotion that we feel we can watch or witness it rather than be taken over by it.  Deep breathing from Step 1, helps us to witness the anxiety.  Set that as an intention and see what happens.  Intention is a powerful choice and can achieve unexpected results.

 

Step 3:  Watch the mind

Our mind can be a great ally or a terrible naysayer.  The mind can pull up all negative experiences from your past to protect you, but really, all that does is fuel your fear and anxiety.   Deep breathing can help us to watch the mind rather than be taken over by it.  Watching the mind allows us to evaluate our thoughts and then choose to believe them, challenge them or dismiss them.

 

Step 4:  Accept this moment as it is.

Accepting this moment doesn’t mean that you need to like it.  I am simply suggesting to fully get/see/understand what is happening in and around you.   From that place, you can begin to create a new reality.

Fighting “what is” only feeds what you don’t want.  Accepting what is, empowers you to create change.

 

Step 5:  Write it out

I find that making a list of all the things I am worried about helps.  Often, it doesn’t seem quite as big on paper.  That is because the same frightening thoughts continue to circulate in your mind, making it seem bigger than it really is.

 

Step 6:  Past, Present or Future?

Notice if your anxiety is about something that happened in the past or something that you are afraid will happen in the future or if it is a real problem in this moment.  Mark each item on your list as past, present and future.

 

Step 7:  Letting go of the past

If an anxiety is about something that happened in the past, you can discover ways to release the cellular memories and emotions causing the anxiety.  Tools such as EFT and the Healing Codes are great tools you can use at home to release past traumas and negative life experiences.  If they are deep and painful memories, you may want to seek out a professional who is trained in releasing trauma.

 

Step 8:  Addressing or releasing the future.

Look at your future fears and do a reality check.  For each fear about the future, ask yourself if that is a realistic concern or something isn’t likely to happen.   If it is something that isn’t likely to happen, find some affirmation or truth focus statements that help you to shift your thought patterns.  Write them out on paper and repeat them at least once a day or more.  If it is a realistic concern, add it to your list of present concerns.

 

Step 9:  Present concerns

Look at each present concern and ask yourself if it is something that you can do something about.  If so, make an action plan of what you can do to address your concern.  Even if it is a baby step in the right direction.    If you cannot do anything about it, try the other steps in this article.

 

Step 10:  Stop and look around your environment.

In this moment are you safe?  Do you have a roof over your head?  Do you have food and water?  Is your environment free from violence or potential violence?  If you answer yes to all of the questions, take a few moments to appreciate the safety of this moment.  Afterall, this moment is really all there is.

If you answer no to the question of violence, get yourself to a safe space.  Then take it from there. If you answered no to some of the other questions, apply Step 9.

Don’t hesitate to ask for help.  You don’t have to do this alone.  There are many services to help people in need.

 

Step 11:  Gratitude

Taking some time each day to remind yourself of all that is good in your life can change your experience.  We often forget or take for granted the simple things in life.

During my worst years of fibromyalgia, just being grateful for a roof over my head, food to eat, help from my parents and the loving companionship of my cats and dog was all that I could muster. It didn’t seem like much or enough back then.  But now, I can see how important those things were and am even more grateful for them than ever.  That reminds me how important the things in my life now are.

 

Step 12:  Redirect Your Attention

Sometimes, nothing will ease your anxiety.  At those times, I will find something else to focus on.  Maybe watch a funny movie.  Work in my garden.  Clean the kitchen.  Watch a romantic movie.  Take your kids to the park.

You get the idea.  Make your own list of things to do to redirect your attention to in times of anxiety.

 

Step 13:  This too will change

Sometimes if our current situation seems unbearable, it is helpful to remember that the only constant in the world is that everything changes.   This can help to accept more fully what is in this moment.  Knowing that it won’t last forever.   Everything changes.

Remind yourself of other situations in your life that were difficult and that you successfully navigated.  You will get through this also!

 

Step 14:  Set an Intention

Setting an intention is a way of identifying what you want rather than focusing on what you don’t want.   Form follows attention.  Focusing on what you want, rather than what you don’t want, can be a game changer.

Make a list or create a vision board with all that you desire in your life.  Refer to it often.  Pray, create truth focus statements, affirmations, and goal with where you want your life to go.

Perhaps one of the most powerful intentions is to be calm, grounded and centered.

 

Many ways to diffuse anxiety

As you can see, there are many ways to diffuse anxiety.  Add these suggestions to your toolbox on how to diffuse anxiety.  Experiment with the suggestions above and see what is most helpful for you.  Perhaps a combination of the above suggestions will be warranted.  Different steps may be more helpful in different situations.

 

May you be calm, grounded and centered.  💕Bindu

Health, Wellness and Wholeness

Health, Wellness and Wholeness

Health, Wellness and Wholeness

Today, I would like to begin a new conversation around health by looking at the difference between health, wellness and wholeness.

 

Health is a state of the body. 

When we talk about health, we usually mean the state of functionality of the body.  Does it operate at a ‘normal’ level without pain, or at least minimal pain?  When we seek to help our body function better, we look to physical treatments.  Medications, herbs, massage, diet, exercise.  Medical doctors, naturopaths, functional medicine practitioners.  

The focus here is usually attempting to diagnose and change the biochemistry of the body.  Often this approach to health is an outside in approach meaning we need to control the biochemistry of the body in order to feel healthy.  We are doing something to our body to make it function properly. 

 

Wellness expands our concept of health. 

Along comes the wellness industry which redefines the concept of health.  Wellness expands our definition of health to include the mind, emotions, lifestyle factors and searching for happiness in our lives.  We engage in positive thinking, lifestyle modification, honoring our emotions.  Perhaps finding work that inspires, re-evaluating our relationships.  In addition to the physical modalities, we seek out counseling, therapy, life coaching.  

 

Then emerges the idea of Wholeness. 

The overriding name of my business is Integrative Wholeness.  This idea expands the concept of health to include all dimensions and parts of who we are.   It focuses on understanding our multi-dimensionality and bringing all parts of our multi-dimensionality into balance and harmony.  

Integrative Wholeness embraces our physical body, our emotional body, our mental body, our energy body, and our spiritual body.  The intent is to create balance in each dimension.  When balance in each dimension is established the dimensions begin to resonate in harmony with each other.  The soul, mind, heart and body are in alignment with each other.     

Integrative Wholeness is also a process of meeting, greeting, embracing and integrating all parts of who we are.   We each have a personality that includes parts of us that we deem acceptable.  Yet there are parts of us that are wounded and/or considered unacceptable. These parts need to be accessed, healed and integrated.  Some of these exiled parts are the innocent inner children who hold our joy, gifts and talents but were deemed unacceptable by those who raised us and/or our society at large.  When we integrate these parts, we begin to feel more whole.  We reclaim our joy and our passion for life.  

It is this experience of integration that will create health from the inside out.  When all dimensions and parts are in balance and harmony, health on all levels is the natural result.  Your body will be healthy.  Your mind will be clear and focused.  Your emotions will be balanced.  You will feel a connection with your spirit and God.  You will be expressing your gifts and live abundantly.

 

In Summary 

I began on a search for health many years ago.  I discovered that health was more that just the body.  I also needed inner peace.  I discovered that the path to health involved the process of healing and integrating all parts of myself.  

This is my vision and what I am here to teach others.  I invite you to listen, learn, evaluate and apply what feels right to you.  

 

Wishing you peace, love and vibrant health, 

Bindu