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Character Traits of Kindness

Character Traits of Kindness

by | Sep 29, 2023 | Emotional Health, Mindfulness

“Use your voice for kindness, your ears for empathy, your hands for helping others, your mind for truth, and your heart for compassionate love.”

– David Scott

Kindness is not only about what you do but how you do it.

It can accompany every type of action from praise to criticism. When an action comes from a place of empathy, you experience kindness.

Kindness comes in many forms. It’s about honesty, empathy, forgiveness, trust, patience, compassion and humility.

Honesty:

Honesty doesn’t always mean you are being kind. You can be honest and kind at the same time though. When you need to be honest, but it feels like a criticism, you should find a way to deliver it with kindness, say with a soft voice, a hand on someone’s shoulder or the way you word your response.

Forgiveness:

When you forgive others and yourself, you are freeing yourself from blame and condemnation. It allows you to be happy. Forgiveness is a form of kindness as it lets you accept others as they are. “Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace”

Trust:

Trust is different from honesty. When you show kindness to others, it builds their trust in you. There are many ways to do this; keep your word, ask what they need, then help them get it.  

Empathy:

Kindness requires empathy. It means putting yourself in another’s position and feelings. Empathy allows you to understand and be sensitive to what others are feeling. It is important to building positive relationships and for good communication.  

Patience: 

Patience is needed when being kind. Patience makes us take the time to get our thoughts and actions in order before we react.  A kind act is often given with patience. “A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret.” 

Compassion:

This is when we feel for another’s problems and take action to help. Compassion is an action of kindness. It is a guide for kindness.

Humility:

Being humble means you do things out of the kindness of your heart, not expecting anything in return.  This is a true act of kindness.

In Summary:

Kindness has all these character traits in it. Being honest, building trust, being humble, compassionate and empathetic all work together to perform true acts of kindness.  Kindness flows from an intention to be in harmony with yourself and others.  Kindness looks for a win/win solution to challenges and differences.  Kindness values connection over being right.  Kindness creates inner peace and outer harmony.

 

Contemplation for this week:

This week, consider the character traits of kindness.  Look at the ones that you are strong in and the ones that are more difficult for you.   Become more aware of how the characteritics that you are strong in flow through you and what that creates in your life.  Pick one characteristic that you are weak in that you would like to strengthen.  Contemplate on how you can strengthen this characteristic.  

Above all, have fun with this.  Enjoying getting to know yourself better. 

 

Wishing you much kindness this week,

Bindu

I Know Your Pain – I Know Your Strength

I Know Your Pain – I Know Your Strength

by | Sep 9, 2023 | Care of the Body, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Self Care, Self Love

I originally wrote this blog in 2019. I came across it this week and wanted to share it again. Reading it was a remainder of the pain I had suffered with fibromyalgia. But what I also noticed was the reduction of the emotional charge of the memories. That is another level of healing, reminding me how far I have come in my recovery from fibromyalgia.

Enjoy the article. I hope it gives you a sense of being heard and understood along with hope that you too can recover from fibromyalgia.

Here is the Post:

A few days ago, someone told me that I didn’t know how to deal with fibromyalgia pain.  You might say that was a pretty big trigger for me.   Brought back all the memories of those who didn’t understand the pain I experienced with fibromyalgia.  Part of working through this was remembering the worst times of my life.  The pain and suffering.  The experience of living with fibromyalgia.  Of dealing with the pain for 30 years.  Of not finding solutions.  I do know how to deal with fibromyalgia.  To live with the pain of fibromyalgia.  Only to well. 

Out of that came this post.  I know that I constantly say that you can improve.  You can rebuild your health.  You can move beyond fibromyalgia.

I suspect there are many who doubt me; wonder if I am just pushing some new magic cure that doesn’t really work.  Of capitalizing on other people’s pain.  Of not knowing what I am talking about.

I am not.  I have lived the experience of fibromyalgia and I have improved tremendously to the point where I am not in constant pain and misery.  To the point where I have a life worth living.  To the point where many days I forget that I have had fibromyalgia.  Yes, it is there.  It is real.  It is possible.  

I know your pain.

I may not know the specifics of your symptoms or of your life circumstances, but I know the pain.

I know the pain of being in constant physical pain. Of being in so much pain that you can’t even think.  It takes all of your resources to be present with the pain.   I know the fear and frustration of not being able to get rid of the pain.  The fear of the pain never ending.  The confusion of why this is happening and why can’t anyone help me.  Why can’t anyone hear me or understand how much pain I am in.

I know the pain of insomnia.  Of deadening fatigue, but not being able to sleep.  Of night after night lying awake and not being able to sleep.  Of waking in the morning feeling like you have been hit by a mac truck . . . maybe two.  I remember the nights where my legs were so restless that sleep was impossible.

I know the pain of being depressed.  Of seeing life through a constant cloud of negativity.  Of feeling like you are moving through molasses.  Of having brain fog so bad that you can’t think clearly.  Of wishing you could die.  Of feeling like everyone else has a normal life . . . why can’t I.  Of wanting to just crawl in a hole and stay there.

I know the pain of chronic itchy burning skin.  Of not being able to wear anything except loose soft comfortable clothing.  Of not being able to wear jewelry because the weight of a simple neckless pains your neck.  I remember the nights that I couldn’t fall asleep because my skin felt like it was on fire or that I was being pricked by 1000 needles at the same time.

I know the pain of chronic anxiety.  Of panic attacks randomly showing up uninvited.  Of being triggered by simple normal things.  Of feeling unsafe.  Of feeling trapped by the pain, depression and anxiety.  Of walking through life terrified moment by moment.

I know the pain of endless mind-numbing fatigue.  Of waking up totally exhausted whether the sleep be deep or uninterrupted.  Of hating the thought of getting out of bed in the morning and facing the day.    Of just wanting to sleep for 6 months . . . a year . . . more.

I know the pain of going to a doctor and hear them say there is nothing physical wrong with you . . . when you know there is.  Of hearing them say it is all in your head.  Of having them give you pills that may or may not relieve the pain and provides a whole new set of symptoms.

I know the pain of loss, unrelenting loss.  Loss of confidence in your self and your body.  Of losing people, loved ones, family, friends that don’t survive your illness.  Of losing jobs, income, security, safety.

I know the pain of insecurity.  Of financial stress.  Of not being able to trust your body.  Of not being able to schedule a lunch date because you don’t know if your body will get you there or not.  Of having to cancel engagements at the last minute because your body flares up.  Of going and then being in pain and not enjoying the event but feeling tortured the whole time you are there.

I also know how it feels when you are told there is no cure.  Of wondering if you can continue to live like this.  How it feels to imagine a lifetime of this pain and unhappiness.  Of trying treatment after treatment and feeling discouraged with the results.  I know.

I know the pain of being criticized, ridiculed and persecuted for having an invisible disease.

I know the pain of missing out on family events.  The pain of feeling distanced from my family because I couldn’t keep up with their pace.  Of not being able to keep your house clean or torturing yourself to clean the house.  Of being left behind when the rest of the world is speeding forward.

I know.  I have been there.  I lived it for 30 years.  I am better now, but I remember.  I know.

 

I also know your strength  

The strength of getting up every morning.  Of facing the day.  The pain.  The depression, the anxiety, the loss, the feeling unheard.  Of feeling powerless.  Of feeling unheard, of feeling invisible.  Of feeling frustrated.

I know how hard it is to live the life with fibromyalgia as your constant experience.  I know how much strength it takes of live that way.  I know.  I have been there.  I lived it for 30 years.  I am better now, but I remember.  I know.

I know how to deal with fibromyalgia pain.  How to live with it ungracefully and how to live with it gracefully (as humanly possible).   How to breath, be present with the pain.   How to exercise within my limitations.  How to eat well to minimize symptoms.  How to function on a tank half full.  How to set boundaries to take care of yourself.  How to manage my lifestyle to accommodate a devastating invisible illness.  How to have less than I want or need because of my limitations.

I know.  I did that for 30 years.  I am better now, but I remember.

 

I also know that rebuilding your health is an option. 

I know that you can move past the experience of fibromyalgia.  To end the anxiety and depression.  To get a good night’s sleep and wake up feeling refreshed in the morning.  To feel good in your body.  To enjoy life again.

I know that you can improve.  I know because I have experienced it myself.  Improvement, release from the pain.  Finding a life that offers peace and contentment.  I know.

It isn’t a quick fix.  It takes commitment, a willingness to make changes in your eating and lifestyle.  It means looking within to discover the true source of pain and loving yourself enough to feel and heal your own pain.  It means discovering the unhealthy beliefs that rule your life and keep you in negative cycles.  It takes a willingness to change who you are.  Not from force or willpower, but by allowing life to change you, allowing the illness to transform you into a different person.  The important unchanging aspect of you will still be there, but the masks and fake part of your that you adopted to survive will be shifted, changed and/or released.  Like the lump of coal that turns into a diamond after its transformation.

It isn’t a quick fix.  It is a journey that is very rewarding and fulfilling.  You will discover a you that is healthy, whole and complete.  Who is awesome and powerful.

 

If you chose this journey of rebuilding your health, I am here to support you. 

I am here to support you, to educate you, to hold your hand if needed.  I am here to remind you when the going gets tough that you are not alone.  That you can and will make it and you will be happy and thrilled with your new self and new life.

I hold the space for your wholeness and improved health.  It is here for you to claim and embody.

My intention is to build a community of women committed to their health and wholeness.  Committed to rebuilding their health and the transformation that entails.  A community based in safety, compassion and love, where we can come together to discover love, acceptance and healing.

Please join me/us as we grow together in love, peace and harmony.

Always remember, there is hope.

💕Bindu

8 Keys to Enhance Health, Wellness and Wholeness

8 Keys to Enhance Health, Wellness and Wholeness

by | Aug 25, 2023 | Care of the Body, Care of the Mind, Emotional Health, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Self Care, Self Love

 Fundamentals of Health, Wellness, and Wholeness

Fibromyalgia and other chronic illnesses are challenging on many levels.  We are physically compromised, emotionally out of balance, and mentally stressed.  We want solutions to our pain and discomfort.  We search and often the solutions come up with none or minimal results.  This becomes stress on top of the stress of being ill in the first place.

What then can we do to reclaim our health and happiness . . . our wellness and ultimately wholeness?

Today’s article is focusing on what I call the Fundamental of Wholeness.  These are eight important aspects to rebuilding our wellness.  Below is a list of the fundamentals of wellness.  They create a foundation upon which to rebuild our health, wellness and wholeness.

  • Awareness
  • Compassion
  • Balance
  • Acceptance
  • Introspection / Self-inquiry
  • Self-Responsibility.
  • Insights
  • Integration

Awareness

The ability to be self-aware.  To observe our body, our mind, our emotions from a place of awareness rather than identification.  In other words, to be able to observe our self objectively.  We can be aware of the sensation and pain in our body, the emotions that we feel, the thought that we think.  We can start with our conscious thoughts, and then delve into a deeper layer of subconscious thoughts and emotions.

 

Compassion

As we meet our self with awareness, compassion is a necessary ingredient.   There are parts of us that we might judge or disown.  By meeting our self with compassion, we can identify positive and negative experiences, emotions, thoughts, and memories.  We can see the good, bad, ugly and beautiful parts of who we are.  Without compassion, we may block truly seeing because we have literally and figuratively exiled parts of who we are as they are deemed unacceptable.   Yet, until you can meet these parts with compassion, wholeness will continue to elude you.

 

Balance

Balance is at the root of health, wellness and wholeness.  Everything in nature survives and thrives because of a state of balance.  Your physical body has 12 homeostatic (balancing) control mechanisms that keep your body functioning and healthy.  Emotionally, we need a balance of positive and negative emotions to be emotionally healthy.  Mentally, we need a balance between positive thoughts and negative thoughts.  A healthy optimistic attitude with a healthy dose of reality and awareness of possible difficulties.  We need a balance of rest and activity, work and play, alone time and time with others.  When discovering the right balance for you, health, wellness and wholeness will be the rewards.

 

Acceptance

Acceptance is acknowledging what is.  That doesn’t mean we have to like it.  It means telling the truth about what is.  When we are honest about what is, we have the power to change is.  If we are denying the truth, ignoring it, or pushing it out of our awareness, we are powerless to change it.

 

Introspection / Self-inquiry

Self-inquiry allows us to go within and discover who we are, what we think, feel, need, want, like, dislike.  What are greatest joys are, what are greatest challenge are. Self-Inquiry allows us to discover internal causes of challenges and discover resolutions from within.

 

Insights

The process of awareness, compassion, acceptance, and introspection results in insights from within.  We can see parts of our self we had previously denied.  We can see how we are creating our own stress.  We can see how we have given our power away.  These and many more insights are available with meeting our self with awareness, compassion and acceptance.

 

Self-Responsibility

When I first heard the word responsibility, to me it meant self-blame.  Then I heard a new definition of the word which was, “ability to respond.”  The ability to respond rather than the old knee jerk reaction to any situation is a step to reclaiming our power.  To look at any situation or challenge with awareness, compassion, acceptance and introspection gives us needed information and insights upon which to make internal changes or take external actions, guided from within.  That is self-responsibility.

 

Integration

Integration happens as the new awareness’s, insights, internal shifts and responsible actions become integrated into our lives.  We begin to feel more empowered in our lives.  We can let go of feeling like a victim to our circumstances or feeling like the answers to our problems are outside of us.   We can let go of coping mechanism and begin to let our true self shine through.

 

Summary: 

The fundamentals of health, wellness and wholeness have the power to impact us on all levels of our being: physical, mental, emotional, energetic, spiritual and in our expression in and interaction with the world around us. 

 

This week’s introspection: 

Contemplate these fundamentals and notice which resonate with you and which don’t.  Pick one or more to experiment with becoming aware of how it operates or not in your life.    Remember, awareness is the foundation of all change.

 

May you be healthy and whole,  💗Bindu

Are You Asking the Right Questions?

Are You Asking the Right Questions?

by | Jul 25, 2023 | Care of the Body, Care of the Mind, Emotional Health, Healthy Living, Mindfulness, Personal Growth

 

I was in the library the other day and came across a book entitled “Change Your Questions, Change Your Life”.   It reminded me of another book entitled, “The Secret Code of Success” by Noah St John that I read with a similar theme of considering what questions you ask and how changing the questions you ask can impact your life.

The essence of both books suggests that if you ask negative questions in your inner dialogue, you will get negative answers and negative results.  Here are some examples:

  1. Why am I always in pain?
  2. Why can’t I find a solution to relieve my pain?
  3. Why do I always screw up?
  4. Why doesn’t anyone like me?
  5. What is wrong with me?

You get the idea.  If you ask these question, you will get these kind of answers to those questions:

  1. I am always in pain because I have fibromyalgia.
  2. There is no solution to fibromyalgia, there is no cure, so I will have to live with this for the rest of my life.
  3. The third question will bring to mind all the mistakes you have made.
  4. The fourth question will bring up all the things that you think people don’t like about you.
  5. The Fifth question will bring to mind all the things that you think are wrong with you.

This first list of questions will hold you back in the status quo and work against improving your health.

 

Consider these questions instead:

  1. How can I reduce or remove my pain?
  2. How can I recover from fibromyalgia? Or “How can I rebuild my health? “
  3. What have I accomplished today?
  4. Why do people like me?
  5. What are my best qualities?
  6. What am I grateful for?

 

Noah St John also suggests the following:

  1. Why is it so easy to reduce the pain in my body?
  2. Why is it so easy to heal from fibromyalgia?
  3. Why is it so easy for me to be competent and accomplished?
  4. Why is it so easy for people to love and appreciate myself?
  5. Why is it so easy to be an awesome person?

 

My Experience with this

Years ago, when my fibromyalgia was really bad, I often asked the questions, Why do I hurt so much?  Why can’t I heal myself?    I was working with a wellness coach that suggested that for a full month focus on these statements and questions:

  1. My body is healing.
  2. How is my body healing?
  3. What does my body need to heal?
  4. What can I do to rebuild my health?
  5. Why is it so easy to recover from fibromyalgia?

In the beginning, it felt like a lie.  But for the whole month, I stuck with my phrases even though it felt wrong and untrue.  By the end of the month, I began to believe that I could heal my body and that it was healing.

This was a turning point in my journey with fibromyalgia.  I began seeing and receiving insights and signs and information that led me to truly improving my health.  I had to be open to the insights, signs, and information that I received, and put them into action.  Otherwise, I would not have improved.

 

Can you open your mind to the possibility that you can improve your health?

The medical community has declared that there is no cure for fibromyalgia.  That is true.

But in my experience, there is a lot we can do to improve our health.  I am living proof.  I have changed from being in excruciating pain all the time. And so fatigued, I could barely function.  I hated my life and often wished I could die.  I would lay in my bed in absolute torture with physical, mental and emotional torment.  I hated waking up in the morning because I didn’t want to face another day.

The song, “Sleep is the only Freedom that she Knows” was my theme song.  At least I had a few hours of sleep to get away from the torture that I lived every day.

 

Most of my symptoms are greatly improved and some non-existent.

Some of the symptoms have completely left, like irritable bladder, brain fog, insomnia, restless legs.  Some of the symptoms are mild, like pain and fatigue.

I used to have lots of skin irritation, burning, and itching.  That is mostly gone and only flares up on rare occasions.

Even as I write this, I know that I have forgotten many of the symptoms that were part of my daily experience.  They are even gone from my memory.

 

Yet, I am not completely free from fibromyalgia.

My main symptom now is IBS. When my intestines function properly, I feel great. When they flare up, other symptoms flare up. I experience increased pain, my mind and emotions get more negative, I am fatigued. I am still limited by this. 

The good news is that this is progressively healing as well.  I now understand what flares my IBS up and have an established protocol to heal it.  The healing process has its ups and downs.  But the ups are more frequent and long lasting, and the downs are not as bad, and I know what I need to get them back on track. 

I know it is on its way out and looking forward to that.

 

Play around with some of these ideas that I am sharing with you.

See if they resonate with you.  I wish for you relief from the ongoing fibromyalgia symptoms.

 

May you improve your health and reclaim your life.  ❤Bindu 

Life is now!

Life is now!

by | May 5, 2023 | Inspiration, Mindfulness

For women with fibromyalgia, the present moment can be painful and miserable.

I think we are the strongest people on the planet to bear the pain and suffering that comes with fibromyalgia.

And yet, being in the present moment, can help you to heal, transform and rebuild your health.

May you find peace,  💗Bindu

The Fibromyalgia Matrix

The Fibromyalgia Matrix

by | Mar 9, 2023 | Care of the Body, Care of the Mind, Emotional Health, Expression, Healthy Living, Mindfulness, Self Care, Self Love, Spirituality

When I first learned about fibromyalgia, I was excited . . . and then disappointed.

After 20 years of suffering, there was a name for what was going on with me. I thought that meant that it could be cured. I was sorely disappointed. I found that just because there was a name for what was wrong with me, didn’t mean that anyone knew how to heal it. 

I wanted to be healthy.

So, I pulled up my bootstraps and began applying what I had learned in my explorations of holistic health and consulted with holistic practitioners. By that time, I had given up on medical doctors as they had nothing to offer me that made any significant difference. In pulling it all together, I came to a place where I could manage my symptoms, but not make any real progress on completely eliminating them.  I wanted more. I wanted to be healthy and not live within the limitations of having fibromyalgia. I felt like I was living in a box and had to carefully manage my life to maintain a manageable level of pain and fatigue.  

 

Managing my symptoms wasn’t enough.

My search continued. I slowly began unraveling the underlying causes of my dis-ease.  Piece by piece, I began to resolve physical, mental, emotional, expression and spiritual imbalances that were keeping my stuck, unhappy and sick.   Realizing that there was not one thing that would fix or heal what was wrong with me, I coined the term the Fibromyalgia Matrix. 

 

Fibromyalgia Matrixtm

The Fibromyalgia Matrix is the interweaving and interconnected physical, emotional, mental, energetic and spiritual imbalances that underlies the experience of fibromyalgia. Each person’s matrix is unique to them, just like a fingerprint is unique. The Fibromyalgia Matrix creates chaos physically, emotionally, mentally, energetically. No foundation, no stability, impaired function, chaos, nothing to stand or build on. Sound familiar? 

 

Recovery from fibromyalgia! 

Recovery from fibromyalgia is a process of identifying and resolving these imbalances. It is quite like putting a puzzle together. You find the right pieces and put them together in the right sequence. Out of chaos comes order and improved function. As the pieces of the puzzle are found and put together, symptoms go away, health emerges, and peace is restored.  

Rather than chase symptoms, we find and resolve the underlying imbalances. That is the path to creating true health on all levels. 

 

The 8 fold process 

By moving through the 8-fold process I spoke about last week, we can unravel the Fibromyalgia Matrix, and progressively rebuild our health, reclaim our life, rediscover our joy and align with our purpose.   True health is much more than the elimination of physical symptoms. It is embracing the totality of who we are, body, mind, emotions, energy and spirit with love and compassion and reclaiming our uniqueness and our gifts and living successfully, powerfully and joyfully in the world. 

 

An Introduction to the Integrative Wholeness Experience to the Rescue!

That my friends, is what I am about. Are you ready to join me in this grand adventure? I hope so. That is why I am launching the Introduction to the Integrative Wholeness Experience next month. In this program, we can come together to heal individually and collectively. I’m excited about this. I hope you are too.  

Stay tuned, look for more information about the Integrative Wholeness Experience. 

May you be whole, 💕Bindu 


Coming Soon!  Stay tuned for details.