Please Hear My Pain, Pt 3

Please Hear My Pain, Pt 3

💗What is your pain trying to tell you? 

In the last two weeks we explored the art of listening to our bodies.  Is there a message our physical, emotional or mental body is trying to send us?

In my experience of rebuilding my health, I have had to address many issues outside of the physical realm.  I had been raised to not trust myself or anyone else, to suppress my emotions, to not speak my voice, to do what others told me to do, to be a perfectionist . . . and the list could go on and on.  All of this was impacting my health.  It was suppressing my authenticity and my power.  Part of rebuilding my health was to reclaim my power, my voice, my intuition and my pwn trust.

If you have fibromyalgia, you are already listening to your body.  You know that there are things that you cannot do, or the body erupts with pain.  By learning the language of the body, you can hear the messages before the body needs to yell at you.   Here are some examples of things than can be underlying physical pain and dysfunction.  Do any of them resonate with you?

I just need to be felt, to be heard

Sometimes our pain just needs to be felt, to be heard by you.  Can you just sit with your pain, physical or emotional, and give yourself loving attention?  Can you simply be present with your pain?  There is a voice inside of each of us that need to be heard.  So many time, we think we need someone outside of us to hear us.  But sometimes, we are the only one who can give ourselves what we need.  Our own loving attention.

Is there unheard emotional pain?

Under the physical pain there is often emotional pain. Are you willing to feel your emotions?  We are trained in our society that emotions are bad and not to be felt.  Because of this we suppress our emotions and they become lodged in our body and interfere with the functioning of the body.

Are you ignoring your own inner knowing?

We are not hearing our own inner voice and wisdom. Can you hear and trust your own inner knowing?  Has your own inner wisdom been drowned out by the conditioning of parents, schools, religion and society?  What do you want underneath under all of the shoulds and have to’s?

Do you need to make a change in your life?

Is your body trying to tell you about a change you need to make in your life? Are you allowing yourself to be mistreated in some way?  Is there something you want to do but have reasons why you can’t or shouldn’t do that?

Are you not taking care of your body?

Are you abusing your body? Not listening, over working, eating the wrong diet, pushing yourself to achieve external goals?   How long have you been ignoring your body and not giving it the care and loving attention that it needs?  Sometimes we have become so sleep deprived that it can take months or years of needed sleep and rest to catch up.

Does your diet need to change?

Is there something in your diet that your body doesn’t want or like? Are there foods that your body needs?   Many of us eat unhealthy foods and yet expect our bodies to function.  Imaging pouring water or oil in you gas tank.  How long do you think your car would function?   We need to eat the foods that provide our body with the right kinds of energy and nutrients to allow the body to function properly and to rebuild and heal.

Are you using your creative gifts?

Are you or were you working in a job that is sucking the life out of you? Perhaps your body and spirit finally rebelled and said, this isn’t working.  I need to be expressing my gifts in the world.  I’m out of here . . . . literally.

Do you have unresolved situations from your past?

What painful situation from your past have you pushed under the carpet and have not dealt with?  Did you suffer a trauma, physically, emotionally, spiritually?  Were you raised in a household by abusive parents?  Did something happen that frightened you?  Did your family suppress our natural expression and emotions?  Our body retains cellular memories of these kinds of events.  Until the cellular memory is neutralized, the negative energy will disrupt your health and your life.

Are your beliefs holding you back?

What beliefs are you holding onto that no longer serve your highest good?  Many of us adopted beliefs as a child from our conditioning or from the need to survive a difficult situation.  We needed them at the time to fit it or to feel safe and loved.  Are those beliefs still operating in your life?  Are they still needed, or can they be updated to reflect who you are today . . . and who you are growing into?

What are you not saying?

Is there something that you need to say to someone that you are afraid to say? Perhaps you feel like you will hurt their feelings.  Maybe you don’t trust your instincts enough to speak up for yourself.  What do you withhold that needs to be said?  Maybe you speak and others don’t hear you.  How can you communicate in a way that gets heard and gets your needs met?

Do you have physical toxicity, metabolic chaos or biochemical imbalances?

Pain in the body, can also be a result of metabolic chaos, bio-chemical imbalances or toxicity. This can be investigated by a practitioner trained in functional medicine or bionetics.  Not all pain is based in metaphysical elements.  In addition to exploring our psyche, we need to address underlying physical toxicity, imbalances and malfunctions.

Listening to your inner voice

As you practice listening to your inner voice, notice if any of these resonate with you . . . or not.  Are there other things that come to mind that your inner voice would like to have heard?

Acknowledging these things doesn’t mean you need to make radical changes in your life.  By acknowledging them and continuing with the inner listening process, you will receive guidance as how to proceed.  Sometimes things will shift and resolve, simply by acknowledging what is true.

One of the main factors in rebuilding my health was to listen to my inner voice.  I was thinking today about the many gifts I have received from having fibromyalgia.  I wish I could have gotten these messages without the pain and suffering, but if this is what it took to get past my hardheadedness and ridged approach to life, so be it.

Our psyche holds many wonderful things and many difficult and painful things.  To embrace both polarities is to embrace the fullness of life and brings a rewarding and fulfilling life.

May you enjoy the experience of getting to know yourself at a deeper level.

💗Bindu

 

If you can relate to any of this and are interested in support, sign up for a complimentary Discovery Session.   Talk one on one with Bindu about your health challenges and goals.  Explore natural solutions to rebuilding your health. 

A Story of Transformation

A Story of Transformation

This week, I want to share a powerful experience that I had using the introspection I offered last week.

How focusing on my pain healed my pain.

In my search for health, early on, I spent 6 years at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health as a resident staff member. My pain was very severe when I arrived there. We did yoga each morning.

When I shared the experience of my “pain”. They suggested treating pain as a sensation. A more neutral term. It was also suggested to breathe and watch the pain rather than react to it. Also to breathe into the pain.

I was doubtful that this would do any good, but decided to give it a try. It was certainly a new concept for me.

One day, my pain was particularly strong. Even off the yoga mat, there was a persistent pain that wouldn’t go away. I decided to take a warm bath. During the bath, I allowed myself to set with the pain and breathe into it as I had been instructed.

What happened after that changed my life.

It started with a memory of my Grandfather’s death when I was about 14. I was devastated by his death and wouldn’t even get out of bed for a few days. I was heart broken. The grief was overwhelming. I continued to breath and allowed myself to fully feel the grief.

As I continued to breathe the grief passed and I felt the love that my grandfather gave me. I was so devastated because he was one of the few people that I truly felt loved by and safe with. It was a great loss.

As I continued to breathe and watch my experience unfold, I got some insights about how my grandfather’s death impacted my relationships with men. It was only a year or two after his death that I began feeling an attraction to boys/men and then dating. I realized that for most of my life I had been looking for the unconditional love that I felt from my grandfather in my relationships with men. And that I had never really found that love.

Because of my grandfather’s unconditional love for me had I unconsciously set the bar really high. But at the same time, I was so desperate for love, that I would stay in a relationship that wasn’t right for me. Always hoping for that unconditional love. It never really came.

By the time the bath was over, the pain was gone. I had released the grief over my grandfather’s death and reconnected with the unconditional love that he had given me. I also had a new perspective on relationships with men that was much more healthy for me. I knew what unconditional love felt like and knew that was what was most important in a relationship.

This was a life changing event.

This is just one example.

My story above is just on example of the transformative power of listening to the body. It was the first for me and I was pretty blown away by the power of it. I now knew that I had stumbled upon a powerful tool for healing and transformation.

Over the last 37 years since this experience, I used this to help heal my body and resolve unresolvable issues in my life. Rather than trying to figure out from my mind how to resolve a problem, I engaged my body and released what was blocking resolution and getting insight and resolutions to the root of the issue.

I have used this to heal my relationships with my mother, father, siblings, men, co-workers and friends. All the while also resolving the pain in my body.

Here is a link to last week’s blog so you can try it.  

Weekly Practice

Take some time this week to explore connecting with your body. Take 15 minutes a day to spend focused on your body. It will help you repair your relationship with your body. Your body needs to be your ally rather than your enemy. It wants to be healthy. It wants you to be happy and fulfilled. Next week, I will talk more about listening to the body and hearing your own pain.

May you and your body become friends, 💗Bindu

P.S. Although this is a powerful tool, sometimes our subconscious mind blocks our ability to feel and release the emotions. In such cases a session with a practitioner can assist with the process. I am such a person having experienced this transformation personally and professional trainings to facilitate others through this process.

If you are interested, I offer a free Heart Healing Session. Just click here to request a session

Bless Your Anger

Bless Your Anger

All emotions are a gift.  They are a necessary part of who we are.  Our life force is contained in our emotions.  

Anger is a very powerful emotion.  When we are angry it is a sign that our boundries have been invaded or that we are giving our power away.

Years ago, I realized that when I was angry, it was because I was giving my power away to something or someone else.  As I became aware of this, I could make different choices and begin to reclaim my power.

What is the underlying source of your anger?  Have your boundaries been violated?  Are you giving your power away?   Something else?  

This week, contemplate on the source of your anger.  Look at where it is coming from and ask yourself how you can reclaim your power.  

 

May your Anger keep you safe, 💗Bindu

Please Hear My Pain

Please Hear My Pain

One of the biggest challenges for women with fibromyalgia is feeling heard. 

We go to medical doctors and they might say, “there is nothing physically wrong with you”, “it is all in your head”, “you are just a hypochondriac”.

If you have danced with the new age or positive thinking movement, you may have heard, “take responsibility for your health”, or “you created it”, or “just get over it”.

Family and friends might say, “you’re just lazy”, “your being selfish”, “everyone has pain”, “your overly sensitive”, and on and on.

It just hurts.  What they say hurts. 

Because there are some days that you barely have the energy to get out of bed.  Or perhaps your pain is so bad that it is impossible to function.  Or the brain fog is so bad that clear thinking is impossible.  Or you skin itches so bad that it hurts to wear clothes.

You can’t do the things they think you can do.  You feel their judgement and condemnation.  Perhaps you silently feel the same way, you don’t understand why you feel the way you feel either and you just want to feel better, but you feel helpless to do anything about it and nobody else seems to understand either.

I also think that many of us with fibromyalgia have a unhealed heart wound of being unseen, unheard and unappreciated.  We crave to be seen and heard for who we are.  Every time someone cannot or does not see us or invalidates us it retriggers that old wound and adds a layer to it.   

That is painful.  It hurts.  In this email and the next three emails in this Please Hear My Pain series will give you some tools to work with to help to alleviate that pain and reclaim your own authority.  

Truth is, they do not understand.

It took me years until I realized that they truly could not understand.  As I lay in bed one day wishing I could die, I realized that if I wasn’t having this experience, I wouldn’t be able to understand either.   The pain and fatigue I experienced and the disabling effect it had on me was beyond understanding.

One day a friend of mine had just come home from the hospital, where he had been for several day with meningitis.  The only treatment they could give him was to keep him hydrated.  The illness had to run its course.   He said to me, “I think I can understand how you must feel.  I was in complete misery for a week and couldn’t do anything about it.”  I said to him, “Imaging feeling like that every day for 30 years and you might be able to fully understand how I feel.”  I did appreciate his comment and understanding.  It helped.

Adopting a healthy attitude.

Once I got how impossible it is for someone not having fibromyalgia to understand the experience I was having, I could deal better with the people who said such things.  I didn’t need to change them.  I just understood that they had no idea what they were talking about.

I adopted these three attitudes which helped me immensely.

  1. I didn’t take it personally. What they were saying had nothing to do with me.  They were talking from a place of unknowing.  I knew what I was experiencing and what I could and couldn’t do.
  2. I could forgive them for their ‘cruelty’ because I knew that they didn’t know what they were talking about. They were acting and speaking on misinformation.
  3. I realized that I had to trust and rely on my own knowing and inner council.
  4. I let go of the need for anyone else to understand what I was going through.

This brought me an increase sense of inner peace.

It was still frustrating at times and very lonely. But letting go of the guilt and blame released a great deal of inner struggle and torment.  I was no longer holding myself up to a standard that others held me up to.  I stopped criticizing myself for being sick.  I was able to hear myself and my own pain.

I could share my experience with others, who were interested, but even as I was sharing, I got that they couldn’t really understand without the experience of it.  Just imaging trying to explain to someone what an apple tastes like if they had never tasted an apple.  Do words ever fully describe an experience?

Is this still a struggle for you?

Is there a step you can take to be understanding and forgiving toward the people who say unthoughtful things?  Can you be more understanding and forgiving towards yourself?   What would that look like for you?

I hear your pain. 

When I hear you, I hear your pain.  I have been there.  I am not any more, but I know the experience.  I still have my issues.  I am still healing, but I am so much better than I was.  I truly want that for you too.

Until we meet again.

May be heard, seen and acknowledged,

💗Bindu

8 Steps to Develop Equanimity

8 Steps to Develop Equanimity

Developing Equanimity

Two weeks ago, I shared the story of the Farmer and the Horse which introduced the Power of Equanimity. Last week, I talked about applying this to the experience of fibromyalgia on a day to day basis. This week, in my final installment on the Power of Equanimity, I will offer further insights in to Equanimity and some tools to help build this spiritual muscle in our daily lives.

 

The Power of Equanimity

The power of equanimity is experienced when you can remain centered in a state of witness conscious no matter what is happening externally. Equanimity power comes from the understanding that everything flows from God, Source, Light, Consciousness. Everything is equal in the eyes of God, Source, Light, Consciousness.  Everything we experience is simply the play of consciousness. Also, the conviction that everything that is happening is coming to you to evolve your consciousness and open you to the greatest, grandest experience of your whole amazing self.

 

The Struggle . . .

As I go through my day, I watch myself reacting and responding to my moment to moment experience. As I coach clients, I watch the struggle they are engaged in to heal or fix their problems. I watch friends on a spiritual journey strain to get all their baggage healed so they can be in a place of bliss and joy (all the time) or to focus solely on the Light avoiding or pushing away ‘negative’ emotions, people and experiences.   People from many spiritual traditions are waiting for the day of reckoning when evil will be banished and only love will remain.

 

Is this really the point?

Every spiritual master I have studied with describes the experience of “enlightenment” very different from what I see so many striving for. I believe there are many aspects to the experience of “enlightenment” and I believe that one of these is the experience of Witness Consciousness. In a state of witness consciousness, you connect with a calm centered part of you that can be a neutral observer to all that is happening externally and even to all that is arising within. This can seem like a tall order, and maybe it is, but it is also something we can practically practice in our daily lives.

 

Surrender to Life

Perhaps the point is to simply surrender to life as it is. We often think of surrender as giving up. Yet the act of surrender is simply acceptance of what is and empowers you to consciously choose your response or sometimes not needing to act at all as the problem resolves itself. Often an exaggerated reaction stems from trauma held in the subconscious and is an over reaction to the actual circumstances. Part of acceptance is acknowledging the reaction and then inquiring into it to see if it is an over reaction or projection based on past experiences.

 

The Practice

How do we practice this in our daily lives? Follow these steps and you will be on your way:

  1. Notice – when something in your life “triggers” you. That is when something triggers an emotion like fear or anger or sadness or a stream of negative habitual thinking, or a physical reaction.
  2. Observe – your reaction with an air of curiosity.
  3. Let go – of judgment towards yourself or the situation.
  4. Breath – bring your attention to your breath and slow your breathing down and take deeper breaths.
  5. Relax your body – notice if the body tenses up and focus on relaxing.
  6. Feel – feel all that is going on within you, the emotions and the physical sensations.
  7. Watch – watch the mind, emotions and physical sensations
  8. Allow – let go of trying to change the external situation or your reaction to it.  Allow the experience to unfold and run its course. The experience will end and often situations resolve themselves, emotions move and dissipate. If you need to speak or act, your words and actions will come from a place of clarity and purpose rather than a reaction that only feeds the conflict.

Be Compassionate

Remember that this is a process, a practice. You don’t even need to do it right. Maybe most important of all is to love and forgive yourself for having the experience in the first place and simply create the intention to nurture the experience of witness consciousness. Over time, you will reap the results and can observe an amazing transformation within yourself and within your life.

 

Weekly Contemplation

This week, begin to observe when life triggers you. Once you get that, then practice the steps of opening to and resolving that which is triggered. Share your questions and experiences with me on Facebook or just respond to this email.

 

May you be at peace, 💗Bindu