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Fibromyalgia and the Pain Body Pt 1

Fibromyalgia and the Pain Body Pt 1

by | Oct 6, 2023 | Care of the Body, Care of the Mind, Emotional Health, Personal Growth, Self Care, Self Love, Trauma

Fibromyalgia, Chronic Illness and the Pain Body, Part 1

The term the Pain Body was introduced by Eckhardt Tolle several years ago.  The pain body is the accumulation of suppressed emotions, negative thoughts, unhealthy beliefs and destructive cellular memories within one’s body or energy field.  It is what I call the Fibromyalgia Matrix.  The pain body keeps us trapped in the past and interferes with our health and happiness.   It blocks our ability to feel positive emotions and sabotages our attempts at creating a better life for our self.

 

The pain body is self-perpetuating

The pain body is like an entity in and of itself and strives to stay alive and functional.   It loves conflict and drama.  The conflict, drama and negative emotions triggered feeds it.  The bigger the drama the greater the banquet.    It will attract those situations to itself and then revels in the drama and negative emotions.

 

The Pain Body is a major factor in fibromyalgia. 

The pain body is behind chronic depression and anxiety.   Suppressed emotions give rise to the feeling of depression. When you suppress a negative emotion such as sadness, you are also suppressing the ability to feel positive emotions and end up feeling depressed.

 

Suppressed fearful emotions don’t go away.

Suppressed fearful emotions live within us sending a constant message of danger to the nervous system.   It keeps the body in fight or flight mode, always feeling threatened and the need to fight or run away.  The nervous system stays in a sympathetic (on) status and doesn’t know when or how to shut down.  This give rise to insomnia, chronic fatigue and feeling crummy.  When the body doesn’t get the rest it needs, it doesn’t heal, detoxify recharge and rejuvenate the body.  You end up with multiple chronic symptoms with no seeming cause.

 

The Pain Body becomes our identity.

These patterns become so normal that we don’t differentiate between us and the pain body.  You might say that we become identified with the pain body.  It becomes us.  It becomes our identity.

One commonality between women with fibromyalgia is that many of us feel a strong need for people to hear our pain.  And we often feel defensive when others try to help us.  This is the pain body talking.  It wants to be heard, but it doesn’t trust others.  It also has a commitment to staying alive and well in its misery . . .  even though another part of you wants to be alive, happy and healthy.

Pretty nasty picture.  Yet it is real.  And it keeps us in a state of misery and pain.  Can you relate?  I sure can.  I lived it for many years.  I was a pro at being miserable and in pain.   It is such a relief to be out of this pattern.  You can too.

 

There is hope.  You can healing the pain body.

My post next week will show the 5 stages of healing the pain body.  Stay tuned.

 

Healing the Pain Body is an important part of rebuilding our health.

I have been asking myself this last year why I focus to much on the emotional, mental aspects of rebuilding our health.  As I wrote the post, I received my answer.  We can do all the right things on a physical level to rebuild our health, but without addressing the pain body, our health and especially our happiness will be compromised.

Let’s focus next year on healing the pain body!

Next year I am rolling out online group programs that will provide education, training and support in healing the pain body and the physical body.  One of my goals is to make the healing work that I do available to women and men with fibromyalgia at affordable rates. The group online programs will do that.

I am working on a program that I hope to launch in January focused on resolving trauma. Stay tuned.

 

 

May you experience increasing health and vitality, 💕 Bindu

Send Love Back

Send Love Back

by | Sep 30, 2023 | Emotional Health, Expression, Inspiration, Self Care, Self Love

I adopted this many years ago when I was in an abusive situation. 

I had to rise above the abuse. 

I had to love myself enough to set healthy boundaries.

I had to love myself enough to get out of my abusive situation. 

And . . . 

I could do that with love. 

Love for myself. 

And as much love and compassion for the other as I could muster.  

No name calling. No blaming.  

Just, it is time to go.  

I leave you with love.  

Maybe I didn’t tell them that.  

But that was my inner mantra and mindset. 

It enabled me to leave with dignity.

It enabled me to leave with no regrets.

I did the best I could in the situation. 

I wasn’t perfect at this, 

But good enough. 

And that was enough.

I carry this in my heart now.  

My heart is opening wide to myself and others.

It feels good.

It feels new. 

It is unfamiliar yet comforting. 

May you give and receive love.

💕Bindu

Character Traits of Kindness

Character Traits of Kindness

by | Sep 29, 2023 | Emotional Health, Mindfulness

“Use your voice for kindness, your ears for empathy, your hands for helping others, your mind for truth, and your heart for compassionate love.”

– David Scott

Kindness is not only about what you do but how you do it.

It can accompany every type of action from praise to criticism. When an action comes from a place of empathy, you experience kindness.

Kindness comes in many forms. It’s about honesty, empathy, forgiveness, trust, patience, compassion and humility.

Honesty:

Honesty doesn’t always mean you are being kind. You can be honest and kind at the same time though. When you need to be honest, but it feels like a criticism, you should find a way to deliver it with kindness, say with a soft voice, a hand on someone’s shoulder or the way you word your response.

Forgiveness:

When you forgive others and yourself, you are freeing yourself from blame and condemnation. It allows you to be happy. Forgiveness is a form of kindness as it lets you accept others as they are. “Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace”

Trust:

Trust is different from honesty. When you show kindness to others, it builds their trust in you. There are many ways to do this; keep your word, ask what they need, then help them get it.  

Empathy:

Kindness requires empathy. It means putting yourself in another’s position and feelings. Empathy allows you to understand and be sensitive to what others are feeling. It is important to building positive relationships and for good communication.  

Patience: 

Patience is needed when being kind. Patience makes us take the time to get our thoughts and actions in order before we react.  A kind act is often given with patience. “A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret.” 

Compassion:

This is when we feel for another’s problems and take action to help. Compassion is an action of kindness. It is a guide for kindness.

Humility:

Being humble means you do things out of the kindness of your heart, not expecting anything in return.  This is a true act of kindness.

In Summary:

Kindness has all these character traits in it. Being honest, building trust, being humble, compassionate and empathetic all work together to perform true acts of kindness.  Kindness flows from an intention to be in harmony with yourself and others.  Kindness looks for a win/win solution to challenges and differences.  Kindness values connection over being right.  Kindness creates inner peace and outer harmony.

 

Contemplation for this week:

This week, consider the character traits of kindness.  Look at the ones that you are strong in and the ones that are more difficult for you.   Become more aware of how the characteritics that you are strong in flow through you and what that creates in your life.  Pick one characteristic that you are weak in that you would like to strengthen.  Contemplate on how you can strengthen this characteristic.  

Above all, have fun with this.  Enjoying getting to know yourself better. 

 

Wishing you much kindness this week,

Bindu

There is Always Hope

There is Always Hope

by | Sep 9, 2023 | Inspiration, Self Care, Self Love

I know how deep the despair can be.

I know the feeling of wanting to give up. 

I know the desire to want a new body, then things would be better. 

I know the strength of rising above the despair.

Of choosing to not give up.

To hold on to hope.

To reach for a better life even when it seemed impossible.

I know the satisfaction of improvement.

Being grateful for every small step forward.

Reclaiming hope.

Taking the next step forward

Rebuilding my health.

Reclaiming my health. 

May you too, rise above and reclaim your health.  

💗Bindu

I Know Your Pain – I Know Your Strength

I Know Your Pain – I Know Your Strength

by | Sep 9, 2023 | Care of the Body, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Self Care, Self Love

I originally wrote this blog in 2019. I came across it this week and wanted to share it again. Reading it was a remainder of the pain I had suffered with fibromyalgia. But what I also noticed was the reduction of the emotional charge of the memories. That is another level of healing, reminding me how far I have come in my recovery from fibromyalgia.

Enjoy the article. I hope it gives you a sense of being heard and understood along with hope that you too can recover from fibromyalgia.

Here is the Post:

A few days ago, someone told me that I didn’t know how to deal with fibromyalgia pain.  You might say that was a pretty big trigger for me.   Brought back all the memories of those who didn’t understand the pain I experienced with fibromyalgia.  Part of working through this was remembering the worst times of my life.  The pain and suffering.  The experience of living with fibromyalgia.  Of dealing with the pain for 30 years.  Of not finding solutions.  I do know how to deal with fibromyalgia.  To live with the pain of fibromyalgia.  Only to well. 

Out of that came this post.  I know that I constantly say that you can improve.  You can rebuild your health.  You can move beyond fibromyalgia.

I suspect there are many who doubt me; wonder if I am just pushing some new magic cure that doesn’t really work.  Of capitalizing on other people’s pain.  Of not knowing what I am talking about.

I am not.  I have lived the experience of fibromyalgia and I have improved tremendously to the point where I am not in constant pain and misery.  To the point where I have a life worth living.  To the point where many days I forget that I have had fibromyalgia.  Yes, it is there.  It is real.  It is possible.  

I know your pain.

I may not know the specifics of your symptoms or of your life circumstances, but I know the pain.

I know the pain of being in constant physical pain. Of being in so much pain that you can’t even think.  It takes all of your resources to be present with the pain.   I know the fear and frustration of not being able to get rid of the pain.  The fear of the pain never ending.  The confusion of why this is happening and why can’t anyone help me.  Why can’t anyone hear me or understand how much pain I am in.

I know the pain of insomnia.  Of deadening fatigue, but not being able to sleep.  Of night after night lying awake and not being able to sleep.  Of waking in the morning feeling like you have been hit by a mac truck . . . maybe two.  I remember the nights where my legs were so restless that sleep was impossible.

I know the pain of being depressed.  Of seeing life through a constant cloud of negativity.  Of feeling like you are moving through molasses.  Of having brain fog so bad that you can’t think clearly.  Of wishing you could die.  Of feeling like everyone else has a normal life . . . why can’t I.  Of wanting to just crawl in a hole and stay there.

I know the pain of chronic itchy burning skin.  Of not being able to wear anything except loose soft comfortable clothing.  Of not being able to wear jewelry because the weight of a simple neckless pains your neck.  I remember the nights that I couldn’t fall asleep because my skin felt like it was on fire or that I was being pricked by 1000 needles at the same time.

I know the pain of chronic anxiety.  Of panic attacks randomly showing up uninvited.  Of being triggered by simple normal things.  Of feeling unsafe.  Of feeling trapped by the pain, depression and anxiety.  Of walking through life terrified moment by moment.

I know the pain of endless mind-numbing fatigue.  Of waking up totally exhausted whether the sleep be deep or uninterrupted.  Of hating the thought of getting out of bed in the morning and facing the day.    Of just wanting to sleep for 6 months . . . a year . . . more.

I know the pain of going to a doctor and hear them say there is nothing physical wrong with you . . . when you know there is.  Of hearing them say it is all in your head.  Of having them give you pills that may or may not relieve the pain and provides a whole new set of symptoms.

I know the pain of loss, unrelenting loss.  Loss of confidence in your self and your body.  Of losing people, loved ones, family, friends that don’t survive your illness.  Of losing jobs, income, security, safety.

I know the pain of insecurity.  Of financial stress.  Of not being able to trust your body.  Of not being able to schedule a lunch date because you don’t know if your body will get you there or not.  Of having to cancel engagements at the last minute because your body flares up.  Of going and then being in pain and not enjoying the event but feeling tortured the whole time you are there.

I also know how it feels when you are told there is no cure.  Of wondering if you can continue to live like this.  How it feels to imagine a lifetime of this pain and unhappiness.  Of trying treatment after treatment and feeling discouraged with the results.  I know.

I know the pain of being criticized, ridiculed and persecuted for having an invisible disease.

I know the pain of missing out on family events.  The pain of feeling distanced from my family because I couldn’t keep up with their pace.  Of not being able to keep your house clean or torturing yourself to clean the house.  Of being left behind when the rest of the world is speeding forward.

I know.  I have been there.  I lived it for 30 years.  I am better now, but I remember.  I know.

 

I also know your strength  

The strength of getting up every morning.  Of facing the day.  The pain.  The depression, the anxiety, the loss, the feeling unheard.  Of feeling powerless.  Of feeling unheard, of feeling invisible.  Of feeling frustrated.

I know how hard it is to live the life with fibromyalgia as your constant experience.  I know how much strength it takes of live that way.  I know.  I have been there.  I lived it for 30 years.  I am better now, but I remember.  I know.

I know how to deal with fibromyalgia pain.  How to live with it ungracefully and how to live with it gracefully (as humanly possible).   How to breath, be present with the pain.   How to exercise within my limitations.  How to eat well to minimize symptoms.  How to function on a tank half full.  How to set boundaries to take care of yourself.  How to manage my lifestyle to accommodate a devastating invisible illness.  How to have less than I want or need because of my limitations.

I know.  I did that for 30 years.  I am better now, but I remember.

 

I also know that rebuilding your health is an option. 

I know that you can move past the experience of fibromyalgia.  To end the anxiety and depression.  To get a good night’s sleep and wake up feeling refreshed in the morning.  To feel good in your body.  To enjoy life again.

I know that you can improve.  I know because I have experienced it myself.  Improvement, release from the pain.  Finding a life that offers peace and contentment.  I know.

It isn’t a quick fix.  It takes commitment, a willingness to make changes in your eating and lifestyle.  It means looking within to discover the true source of pain and loving yourself enough to feel and heal your own pain.  It means discovering the unhealthy beliefs that rule your life and keep you in negative cycles.  It takes a willingness to change who you are.  Not from force or willpower, but by allowing life to change you, allowing the illness to transform you into a different person.  The important unchanging aspect of you will still be there, but the masks and fake part of your that you adopted to survive will be shifted, changed and/or released.  Like the lump of coal that turns into a diamond after its transformation.

It isn’t a quick fix.  It is a journey that is very rewarding and fulfilling.  You will discover a you that is healthy, whole and complete.  Who is awesome and powerful.

 

If you chose this journey of rebuilding your health, I am here to support you. 

I am here to support you, to educate you, to hold your hand if needed.  I am here to remind you when the going gets tough that you are not alone.  That you can and will make it and you will be happy and thrilled with your new self and new life.

I hold the space for your wholeness and improved health.  It is here for you to claim and embody.

My intention is to build a community of women committed to their health and wholeness.  Committed to rebuilding their health and the transformation that entails.  A community based in safety, compassion and love, where we can come together to discover love, acceptance and healing.

Please join me/us as we grow together in love, peace and harmony.

Always remember, there is hope.

💕Bindu

How to Build Kindness

How to Build Kindness

by | Sep 1, 2023 | Emotional Health, Inspiration, Self Care, Self Love

How to be More Kind

“We cannot do great things on this earth, only small things with great love.”

-Mother Teresa

Kindness is a simple act.

It doesn’t take a lot of time, money or resources unless you want it to. The smallest acts of kindness often go the longest way to changing lives. You can cultivate more kindness in your life in many ways.

Here are some examples:

  1. When you believe in someone, tell them and show them your support. This support may be just what they need to drive them to achieve things greater things.
  2. Think about your words before you speak. If what you’re thinking isn’t kind, stop what you’re doing. Think about how to better phrase what you’re thinking or perhaps don’t say it at all. Remember to be kind in how you deal with the person.
  3. When you receive kindness spread it around. Continue to spread the kindness by paying it forward.
  4. Everyone faces challenges even if they don’t outwardly show it. Don’t discriminate on who you are kind to.
  5. Be an example. Be a role model to others by always being kind.
  6. It doesn’t matter if it’s a close relationship or a stranger, it’s important to be mindful of how you treat others. Be considerate of everyone.
  7. Practice having good intentions. Try to have good intentions when you say something nice. Don’t expect something in return.
  8. Reach out when others don’t.
  9. If showing kindness is hard for you, try to remember how you felt when someone was kind to you.
  10. Be kind every day. Holding the door for someone while giving them a genuine smile is an easy way to brighten someone’s day.
  11. Create a kindness calendar. Add some type of kindness you can do to each day. For example, take a cup of coffee to your coworker, help your elderly neighbor with their groceries, thank the mail carrier with a card, give your umbrella to a mom and her kids waiting for the bus in the rain, share your lunch with a homeless person or any other act of kindness.

There are many ways you can be kind.

Some acts of kindness take only a few moments, such as a smile or quick complement.  Some acts of kindness take more time and/or effort on your part.  Don’t dismiss the impact of those that only take a few moments.  They are often the most powerful.

If you are stumped for ideas, here are a few to get you started.

  • Let someone in front of you at the grocery store because they have fewer items.
  • Smile at someone who really needs it. Maybe you see a struggling mom trying to shop with her three kids. Give her an encouraging smile.
  • Talk with a friend who is having problems. Lending a ear may be all they need.
  • Buy food for a homeless person the next time you go for fast food or a restaurant.
  • Compliment a stranger.
  • Help a coworker on a project even if you have a full schedule.
  • Let someone in your lane in a traffic jam.
  • Donate old clothes to someone in need.
  • Call your grandparents or parents instead of waiting for them to call.
  • Say please, thank you and your welcome.
  • Compliment someone on their hair, outfit or something else.
  • Offer your seat on the bus or train.
  • Bake something for a neighbor, older relative or nursing home and visit with them.
  • Text someone good morning or good night.
  • Plan to meet with an old friend you haven’t seen in a while.
  • Wash someone’s car for free.
  • Have a sick neighbor? Mow their yard or shovel their snow. Take out their trash. See if they need you to pick anything up for them – medication, groceries, etc.
  • Stop and help someone broke down on the road. Or see if they have help coming.
  • Plan a surprise party for a friend’s birthday.
  • Wish someone a good day.
  • Leave a nice note on someone’s car or in their mailbox.
  • Tell someone how much you appreciate them.
  • Smile at everyone.
  • Help a stranger in some way.
  • Actively listen when someone is talking to you.
  • Give an unexpected gift to someone.
  • Thank someone for something specific they’ve done for you
  • Make a donation to charity.
  • Volunteer your time.
  • Share a memory with a child or friend.

Be discrete when carrying out acts of kindness.

When carrying out your act of kindness, be sure to not intrude or embarrass the receiver. Discretion is key. Give your smile or gift then move on, unless the receiver wants to talk. Some acts of kindness can be carried out anonymously as well.

Above all else, carry out your acts of kindness because you genuinely want to make yourself and others feel good. Not because you expect something in return.

Contemplation for this week:

1.  This week, create and intention to carry out one act of kindness per day.  More if you would like.

2.  At the end of each day, notice if you remembered or not.  Be kind to yourself if you forgot.  That can be your act of kindness for the day.  Reinforce your intention.

3.  If you did remember to carry out an act of kindness, take a moment to remember how it felt and how the other person responded.

4.  Pat yourself on the back for each act of kindness your carried out.

5.  Continue this practice indefinately.

 

May kindness fill your heart with love and compassion for yourself and others. 

Bindu