The Power of Mindfulness

Mindfulness means being aware of what is happening now in this moment.  Paying attention.  Our body, our heart and our soul and our mind is talking to us all the time.  The body sends us messages through the vehicle of sensation.  Our heart sends us messages through the vehicle of feeling.  Our soul sends us messages through the vehicle of “knowing.”  Our mind sends us messages through the vehicle of thought.


Do we listen to our body, heart, and soul?

In our society, we tend to listen to the mind/thoughts over our body/sensation, our heart/feelings and our soul/knowing.  We value the mind over the feelings of the heart and the sensations of the body and the knowing of the soul.  Unfortunately, the mind has a limited perspective and so if we only listen to the mind, we don’t see the whole picture.  It would be like cutting off three of your fingers.  Your hand would be much less useful with only a thumb.  That is how it is when we only listen to the mind and not the body/sensation, heart/feeling and soul/knowing.

The body, heart and soul have important and very useful information for us.  We need to learn how to listen and respond favorably to these messages and balance them with the thoughts in the mind.   The question then becomes, how do we do this?


How do we learn to listen?

Here are some practical ways to exercise the muscle of mindfulness.  Listen to your body when you eat.  How does it feel after eating a certain food?  Listen to your body when you exercise.  How does your body feel after exercise?  Self-inquiry is a tool with which you can deepen your connection with the body, feelings and knowing.  Taking a two-minute breathing break is an important exercise to stop the habit of being only in the mind and reinforce the awareness of the breath and body.


The Importance of Slowing Down

In our busy lives, it is often difficult to slow down enough to pay attention to the messages from within.  We are used to being guided by the mind and by listening to others through news, media, magazines, books internet.  We are overloaded with information from the external world.  In terms of balance, we also need to “hear” what our internal world is saying.  So, once again, how do we do this?

Mindfulness is the practice of slowing down and paying attention to what is happening in the moment as you are moving through life.  It can be as simple as taking deep breaths and feeling your body.  It can be really paying attention while brushing your teeth.  It can be taking a deep breath and feeling an emotion rather than distracting yourself with something or pushing the emotion down.  You can ask yourself, what is happening right now, physically, mentally, emotionally in any moment in any situation.

Mindfulness Exercise

Here is a mindfulness exercise that you can practice sitting or lying down. Perhaps at the end of a busy day.  Or a night before you fall asleep.  

1.  Sit quietly and close your eyes.

2.  Simply feel your body.

3.  Become aware of your breath and notice how you are breathing. Watch the breath move in your body.  Where does the breath move?  Where is it restricted?

4.  Allow the breath to lengthen and deepen. Lengthen the inhalation.  Let the exhalation fall out of the body.

5.  Continue to feel your body and the sensations within the body. Are you energized, fatigued, tense, relaxed?  Are there areas of tension, areas of relaxation?  Allow yourself to move if you feel drawn to do that.

6.  Notice your emotions. Are you happy, sad, joyful, angry, frustrated?  Are you neutral?  Imagine there are many flavors of emotions, just like flavors of ice cream.  What flavor are you today?

7.  Then begin to notice your mind. It is busy or quiet.  Is it slow or speedy?  Notice the nature of your thoughts?  What is the content of your thoughts?

8.  Notice if there are judgments of right or wrong. Let them go. This is just about being aware.

9.  Now, bring your attention to the part of you that is watching the body, the breath, the emotions and the mind. We will call this The Witness.  The witness is the stillness within the body, mind and emotions from where you can watch yourself and the world.  It is always there, we just have forgotten it in the business of our lives.  The breath helps us connect to The Witness.  Spend a few moments with this process.  See if you can anchor yourself in the awareness, the witness.

10.  Now, staying in touch with the witness, open your eyes. Keep your attention focused inside while watching what is happening outside of you.   Look around the room.  Notice whatever you see.  Notice the sensations in your body.  Notice the emotions.  Notice the commentary by the mind.  Notice if you lose touch with the witness.  If so, close your eyes again and anchor you focus inside.

May you be aware, peaceful and free,


Honor Your Uniqueness

Honor Your Uniqueness

Honoring your Uniqueness

You are unique. Your hair color and texture, your eyes, your body, your mind, your emotions, your gifts, the way you express in the world. Your likes and dislikes. They way your body digest and assimilate foods. The way you respond to stress. How you interpret the world. There is no one in the world who is exactly like you. You are a unique creation. There never was and never will be anyone exactly like you.

Just like a garden with various flowers, the flowers are each unique and have their own special place as part of the whole. Like a forest with trees, shrubs, flowers, grasses, insects, birds, animals. The beauty of the forest is a blend of all the unique expressions within the forest.

Like an orchestra with many different instrument and even more unique individuals playing the orchestra. Each is unique and combine with the others contribute to a beautiful concert.

On our planet exist billions of individuals. Each individual is completely unique. Yet, we all share in the truth that we are all human. If we are carbon copies of one template, the world would be very boring.

No person is any better or worse than any other person. Each person, because they are unique expressions of consciousness, has a unique place on this planet. Each person has unique needs. Biological needs, emotional needs, psychological needs spiritual needs.


Each person’s journey to health is unique

There is no one treatment for fibromyalgia that will work for everybody. Every person’s journey to health and well-being is as unique as the individual.

I get asked, how do you treat fibromyalgia pain. I cannot answer that question. In order to answer that question, I would need to identify the imbalances in the individual asking the question. Health and life challenges are cause by a combination of factors that need to be identified and resolved from the inside out. Out side in is trying to change the symptoms without addressing the underlying imbalances.


Underlying factors in health and life challenges

There are common areas that need to be evaluated for balance or imbalance. The physical body, the emotional body, the mind, the energy body and life expression. An imbalance or imbalances in any of these areas contribute to the experience of fibromyalgia. And there are always imbalances in each of these areas. Let us look more deeply at this.

Physical body factors:

  • Poor diet – some of the important pieces to understanding diet include quality and quantity of food and eating the right foods that match your body’s unique needs. Some people need more animal protein, some need more grains. Each body is unique. There is not one diet that works for everyone.
  • Exercise – We need to look at what kind of exercise, how much exercise and what is the right exercise for your body’s unique needs.
  • Toxicity – we live in a toxic world. There are toxins in the environment, cleaning products, food, toiletries and cosmetics. There are also natural toxins from the body’s metabolic processes. We need to look at your body’s ability to release toxins.

Emotional body factors:

  • Trauma- physical, emotional, mental, energetic or spiritual.
  • Negative childhood experiences
  • Enculturation from parents, school, spiritual and religious institution
  • Societal conditioning
  • Inherited traumas and tendencies
  • Suppressing our aliveness and unique gifts.

Mental Body factors:

  • Rigid thinking
  • Conditioned mental positions
  • These are closely linked to the emotional body factors.

Expression/Lifestyle factors:

  • Stress in relationships
  • Overwork – no balance in rest, relaxation and work activities.
  • Stress in family
  • Financial stress
  • Most of these stresses are caused by the emotional and mental body factors.

For each person with fibromyalgia or any other chronic illness there is a unique blend of these underlying “causes”. I is what I call the fibromyalgia matrix. Everyone’s matrix is different. That is why there is no one cure for fibromyalgia or any other chronic illness. Rebuilding your heath is a progressive process of identifying and resolving the underlying causes.


You are a unique expression of the Divine

You are a unique and beloved expression of the Divine. You have forgotten that. Your body is a temple of the Divine and deserves to be treated with reverence, given the right foods. You heart is a beautiful expression of the Divine and deserves absolute love and respect. Each emotion that you feel is valid and deserved to be respected and honored. Each soul centered desire is important and needs to be embraced.

We do not give our body, heart, emotions and soul centered desires the love and respect that they deserve. We look outside of our self for love, yet that love lives within us. We are the love we seek. We are the ones who can give ourselves the unconditional love that we deserve. We are the ones who can chose to take excellent care of the body with right foods and exercise. We are the ones to make lifestyle choices that support or health and well-being. We are the ones who can look at and unravel the hidden emotional wounds, trauma and negative condition that keep our spirit captive and unexpressed.


You have the power to rebuild your health

We have the power to rebuild our health, reclaim our life, rediscover our joy and align with our purpose.

This is the journey to physical health but also to peace in the heart, clarity of mind, and abundance of energy and connection to a higher power, God, Consciousness.

What blocks our journey are the same imbalances we strive to resolve. In a sense parts of our self are working against our efforts to health our self. Our traumas and wounds are carefully guarded by repressing our emotions and the adopted mental positions needed to survive at the time the wounds were created. Yet, these same protective parts keep us in a cage of unending misery and unfulfillment once their usefulness has expired.

Another thing that blocks our journey is not knowing how to proceed in the direction of healing. A great deal of health information is based on an outside-in fix. Resolving the imbalances is an inside-out job; doing the inner work to resolve the external manifestations. The outside-in fixes may give temporary relief of symptoms but will not give lasting resolution and a deeper sense of peace and well-being. They can be used along with the inside-out work to relieve symptoms until they are no longer needed.


Getting support

What I offer is a process of exploring and resolving the imbalances on all levels. Please stay tuned, listen, read and use what resonates for you. Watch for upcoming group programs so we can support each other in our transformation.


Awareness Practice

  • Review the list above and become aware of what areas of your life include imbalances.
  • Take some time to list the imbalances that you are aware of.
  • Breathe. Know that awareness is the first step to healing
  • Relax. Know that this is a journey, not an event.
  • Intention. Create the intention to improve your health and well-being on all levels.
  • Allow the process to unfold. Form follows intention.


May you be whole and discover dynamic physical health, along with peace and fulfillment.


The Power of Compassion

The Power of Compassion

 Last week, we looked at the Power of Acceptance.  About how we have been programed to judge and push away parts of who we are, either because they are what we deem bad parts or even our gifts that seemed unacceptable to those who raised us.  We talked about how accepting these parts of us allows us to explore and reconsider decisions we made growing up to fit in, receive love and acceptance and perhaps even to feel safe.


Let’s bring compassion into the picture 

This week, we are going to take a next step.  We are going to explore the power of compassion.  Compassion brings into play empathy.  Compassion is the feeling of true acceptance; of allowing the hardness of our heart to melt as we encounter aspects of our self that we judge or condemn. 

Maybe you say, I accept that part of me.  But is that acceptance true?  Are you secretly saying to accept it only hoping that it will go away?   Do you secretly feel shame because of that part?


Compassion is about feeling and empathy 

Compassion happens when we feel into and understand our parts.    When we understand that all our parts are there for a purpose.  That in their own, often misguided way, have our best interest at heart. 


Here is an example from my life:


I have a part that doesn’t trust other people.  I judge myself for not trusting other people.  I see how it can lead to isolation and pushing others away.  I judge that as wrong and feel like there is something wrong with me.  

When I feel into that part, I notice the emotion of fear.  I feel that fear in my belly.   When I feel into that, fear, I notice that underneath the fear is sadness and hurt.    Memories of being hurt, abused and tormented by other people begin to surface.  Feelings of being alone and unprotected.  Feelings of being powerless and unsafe.  I decided that people weren’t safe.  I was alone and I had to do it myself.  I had to take care of myself because nobody else would.  I became a loner.  

With all this information, I can understand why I don’t trust people.  People from my past hurt me, emotionally and physically.  At the time, I wasn’t safe.  I didn’t feel safe.  I needed to distance myself from those who would hurt me to stay safe.  I became invisible and small.  I needed to stay out of their radar.  By doing that, I was safer.  The choices I made at the time kept me safer and allow me to survive my childhood.    

In my adult life, I continued to live by these beliefs and actions.  I was small.  I was afraid to step out and be seen.  I didn’t thrive in life.  I didn’t feel fulfilled or loved.  And I was afraid.  I had many health issues.  

By understanding all of this, I could have compassion for myself.  I could embrace the part of me that was frightened and needed to be small and push people away.  I could understand why I didn’t trust people.  I also realized that I had often attracted people to me that treated me with the same disrespect.  I was reliving the experience from my childhood again and again.  

Yet, now I am an adult.  I have resources available that I didn’t then.  I could reconsider my choices.  At the time, I did what I needed to do to survive and feel safe.  I survived my childhood.  I grew into an adult.   Yet, I had to ask, if these choices were still serving me.   Are the decisions I made still true.  Are the strategies that I adopted to survive still needed and effective.    What is the cost of staying safe?  Is what I am losing out on, worth the perceived safety? 

From that perspective, I could make different choices.  I could use the power of discernment to choose who I let into my life and who I wouldn’t.  I could practice self-love by saying no to people who treated me with disrespect or hurt me.  I could find new friends whom I felt safe with.  I could let people in and feel connected rather than isolated.  I could ask for help and not feel I had to do it all alone. 

By calling on the power of Compassion we can transform 

By accepting and having compassion for the part of me that didn’t trust people, I was able to discover the fear and hurt inside.  I could understand the choices I made to keep myself safe.  I could reconsider and make different choices.  But without acceptance and compassion and some self-inquiry, I was stuck and alone.  

Now I have loving considerate friends.  I feel connected to myself and to others.  I use discernment when I meet people and discretion as to who I allow in my inner circle of close friends.  I can ask for help and not feel like I am all alone and frightened all the time.  

Also, by going through this process and feeling and accepting with compassion suppressed emotions and creating a life where I didn’t need to be fearful, my body began to heal in ways that it hadn’t before.  Pain reduced, sleep improved, fatigue lessened, anxiety dropped, contentment improved.  

Transformation is a process

This transformation has been a process.  And challenging at times.  The fearful part of me, had to take some risks to trust and try a different way of being.   Had to risk saying no to people that weren’t respectful or that just didn’t resonate with me.  I had to stop being a people pleaser and listen to my deeper inner voice and make the best choice for my well-being even if someone else didn’t approve of it.


It is worth the effort

It was totally worth the effort.  I will have many more years of inner peace, love and greater fulfillment for understanding and shifting the old patterns of protection into new patterns of empowerment and self-love.  This process allowed me to stop playing small and to access my inner gifts and share them with the world.  And finding great fulfillment in that.

The awareness, acceptance and compassion were instrumental in supporting this inner transformation and freeing me from a life of misery and delivering me into a life of freedom, joy and fulfillment.  I wish that for you too.   That you can meet yourself with awareness, acceptance and compassion to set yourself on the path of transformation and inner peace, fulfillment and improved health.


Awareness Practice for this week:

  • Take some time this week to sit with parts of yourself that you judge.
  • Do some self-inquiry to identify emotions, thoughts, beliefs, memories and physical sensations connected with that part.
  • Watch what happens.


Receiving help for your transformation

I understand this can be a challenging to do alone.  I am working on some affordable programs to support you in this work:

  • Reclaim your Power Program – a 21-day program to guide you step by step on how to connect with your body, heart, emotions and soul.
  • An online group program entitled, “Healing the Pain Body”, where we can come together to support each other in this transformation.
  • As always, I also offer one on one sessions to assist you in unraveling the underlying matrix of beliefs, emotions and negative cellular memories to help you to rebuild your health and reclaim your life.


May you meet yourself with compassion, moment by moment.



The Power of Acceptance Pt 2

The Power of Acceptance Pt 2

Last week, we talked about accepting what was showing up in our environment and how by accepting that rather than ignoring, resisting or denying what was, we could empower our self to make choices and take actions or shift our perceptions of what is to improve our situation. 

This week let’s look at how accepting our inner world can lead to significant changes in our health and happiness.


 Increasing Awareness

When we begin to become more aware of our thoughts, emotions and body sensations, we might not approve of what we are encountering.    Most of us were raised by people who had not been raised by parents who exhibited unconditional love.    We were silently trained how to behave in order to win our parents approval.



Were you told parts of you were unacceptable? 

Perhaps you were told you were too sensitive.  Perhaps, it wasn’t safe or acceptable to feel your emotions.  Perhaps you were told that children should be quiet.  Maybe you had a gift of music or art and didn’t fare well in our mentally oriented school system.  What if the religion of your parents didn’t resonate with you? 

How often do we judge ourselves for being who we are?  How often do you compare yourself with others and think you should be different than you are?  Do you have spiritual or religious expectations that you can’t meet? 

Are you so happy and excited about life that others feel uncomfortable around you?  Do you speak your truth and notice how others might be uncomfortable with that?  Are you too loud, not loud enough?  Are to too introverted or too extroverted?  Too thin, too fat?  Too tall, too short.  Maybe your hair is curly, and you want it to be straight. 

We often embody the expectations of the elders from our childhood and use them to constantly criticize our self.  We often push away our uniqueness, gifts and talents, because they were deemed unacceptable by those who raised us.


Increased awareness must include acceptance and compassion 

As we increase our awareness, we become more aware of the parts of our self that we dislike or have pushed away.    We can become more aware of how we criticize our self.  This can be uncomfortable.  We might not want to look at this.  Yet, but allowing this increased awareness gives us the opportunity to make different choices.  By accepting ourselves, even the “bad” parts of our self, and looking at them with honesty and acceptance, we begin the process of transforming our self.   We even need to accept the part of our self that judges us.


“Whatever arises, needs more love, not less”

Are we conditioned to punish our self?

Even this may seem counter intuitive to your conditioning.  Most of us have been raised that if we did something “wrong” we needed to be punished.  We still hold that belief thinking that we are doing something “wrong” and the only way to stop doing it is to punish ourselves.  

Maybe the reverse is true.  Maybe we need more love, not less.  Maybe if we stopped criticizing and beating up on ourselves silently in our head, and instead met our self with compassion and acceptance, we would heal and thrive.    

Maybe the parts of our self that we think are wrong or bad, just need to be loved.  Maybe our unique authentic self that has been pushed into the background needs to be revisited and reclaimed as part of our journey to health and happiness.

Learning to meet our self with love and acceptance is a journey, not an event.  It must be approached with compassion and patience.  


Awareness Practice:

  • Become aware of your inner critic with compassion, understanding that part of you is really doing what it thinks is best for your highest good. Let it know that there are now more choices available.
  • Consider what parts of you that you have suppressed or hidden because they were deemed unacceptable by someone from your past. Acknowledge and reconnect with those parts.  (hint: they are probably parts of yourself that you judge) 


May you blossom under the acceptance of yourself. 



The Power of Acceptance

The Power of Acceptance

Last week, we talked about the Power of Awareness.  Once you become aware of something, the next step is Acceptance.  This week let’s explore the Power of Acceptance. 

I think word acceptance is scary for most of us.  This is especially true for women with Fibromyalgia.  We think, “If I accept this, then I will never get rid of it.  The only way I can get rid of it is to reject it or fight it.”  You even might think, “How can I possibly accept something this horrible!”  I get it.  I was there.   

Acceptance is the door to the path of moving beyond any experience 

For years, I fought my fibromyalgia.

I thought I could push myself through and beyond it.  I didn’t fully accept my limitations.  After several years of this, my fibromyalgia got so bad that the pain was worse than ever.  I ACCEPTED that what I was doing wasn’t working and was not sustainable.

I had to accept that what I could do was limited and if I pushed myself trying to keep up with a life that I once had or a life that I wanted, I was only making things worse.  Out of that acceptance, I was able to truthfully reassess my choices.  I had to accept that I could only work a certain number of hours a day.  I had to accept that if I pushed myself physically, I would be in severe pain for the next few days.  I had to accept that I never knew what I would feel like in the morning and that I had to adjust my day based on how I felt when I woke up.  Some days, I felt pretty good and could get a lot done.  Some days, I felt awful and needed to move more slowly.   Somedays, I had brain fog and had to adjust to accommodate that; sometimes just knowing the same amount of mental work would take longer.


Only by accepting my limitations, I could make better choices

As I accepted and respected my limitations,  I could make better choices.  Here are some examples:

  • I began to be notice when I started getting tired and if I pushed myself past the fatigue, the pain would kick in. By accepting that, and stopping when I got tired, I experienced less pain.
  • I began to notice what physical activities would heighten the pain. By accepting that, I would avoid them when possible or do them on a day, where I could rest the following day.
  • I began to be aware of food choices that made me feel worse. By accepting that, I could make different food choices.  And honestly, I fought that one for a long time . . and paid the price.
  • I accepted that most medical doctors didn’t have solutions for fibromyalgia that were acceptable or workable for me, so I made different choices. I researched and discovered different options and found those that worked for me.


I began to accept that I had fibromyalgia and it limited me . . .

and if I wanted to move beyond it, I had to accept those limitations.


Here is a non-fibromyalgia example.

I was in a relationship with a person who was emotionally abusive.  I accepted that as the truth of the situation.  I also had to accept that I couldn’t change him and that it was unlikely that he would change.  I also realized that I stayed in the relationship out of a deep desire to be loved and was afraid if I left the relationship, I would be alone.  Out of these realizations, I took steps to widen out my circle of friends.  I began to realize that I was more content alone that when I was with the other person.  I had to make some hard decisions and ask the man to leave and then stand with my decision.   I am so glad that I did.  I am in a much better place as a result of these choices.  I feel strong in myself and less needy of others. 

Accepting ‘what is’, gives you the power to make different choices. 

Resisting ‘what is’, drains your energy and keeps you stuck. 

Awareness turns the light on ‘what is’.

Accepting ‘what is’ gives you the power find solutions. 

Self-Inquiry for this week:

  • Take an honest evaluation of yourself and your relationship with fibromyalgia. Are you fighting is or accepting it?  If you accepted it, what changes could you make?  What options might open up for you?  
  • What other areas in your life do you resist? What would it mean if you accepted the reality of the situation?  What changes might that inspire you to take?


May you embrace the Power of Acceptance and allow it to transform your life, 


The Power of Awareness

The Power of Awareness

The Power of Awareness 

Imagine going into a house in the middle of the night, the sky is cloudy, no stars and no moon.  You walk in the front door.  The house is dark.  You can’t find the light switch.  Finally, you find a small candle.  It is very dim, but you can see a little bit.  The house is very cluttered.  Furniture and piles of stuff lying around.    Yet as the light from the candle is so dim, you keep tripping over stuff in the dark.  You fall down again and again and have to keep hauling yourself up from the ground.  It gets very tiring.  

A friend arrives and brings you a very large spotlight.  When you turn it on, you can see the house clearly.  You can see what is in the house more clearly.  You can discern useful furniture and appliances.  You can see piles of junk mail that is no longer needed.  You can see pile of unfinished projects. 


This demonstrated the Power of Awareness 

Our body is the house.  Within the body resides unfinished business and unnecessary thoughts, emotions and cellular memories.  Also, within the body resided our inner knowing, necessary functions, abilities, good judgement.  

By increasing awareness, we have the ability to see things more clearly.  The good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.  Sometimes we don’t want the awareness because we don’t want to see the bad and ugly.  However, that only keep us stuck tripping over the mess and falling down and having to lift ourselves out of the mess again and again.  


A dose of acceptance goes a long way 

Along with awareness, an equal measure of acceptance is necessary.  With acceptance we observe from a place of equanimity and use discernment to discover what is helpful and valuable and what can be discarded. 


What clouds awareness 

The greatest block to awareness is the mind.   For most of us, our mind is going constantly day and night.  There is very little space for awareness to shine through the business of the mind.   To access awareness, we need to begin to break up the constant stream of thinking. 


Tools to nurture awareness 

Here are some tools to create gaps in the stream of thought and access awareness. 

  1. By bringing you attention the breath for even a few moments can create a gap in the thoughts.  Give it a try right now.  See what happens with you pause to focus on your breath.  If you have even a 3 second gap between the thought, that is a great starting place. 
  2. Slowing down the breath. Slowing down the breath takes more attention away from your thoughts and can create additional gaps in the breath. 
  3. Become conscious of your surroundings. Really see and feel the chair you are setting on.  Touch the table in front of you.  Notice the feel of the surface and the colors.  Look at the walls and notice pictures and other things hanging on the walls. Go outside and look at the sky; admire the flowers beginning to bloom; the trees getting buds; the snow on the ground. 
  4. Truly see other people. The next person you encounter, stop thinking for a few minutes and really look at them.  See them.  Let go of your thoughts about them.  See their face, their body posture, the expression they wear.  What can you observe beyond your chronic thoughts about them?  

These tools will allow you to begin to break the addiction of thinking and open to moments of the awareness the already exists beyond the mind. 


Awareness practice 

This week, practice taking mini awareness breaks using some of the suggestions above or creating your own.  


May you grow in awareness,