Last week, we looked at the Power of Acceptance. About how we have been programed to judge and push away parts of who we are, either because they are what we deem bad parts or even our gifts that seemed unacceptable to those who raised us. We talked about how accepting these parts of us allows us to explore and reconsider decisions we made growing up to fit in, receive love and acceptance and perhaps even to feel safe.
Let’s bring compassion into the picture
This week, we are going to take a next step. We are going to explore the power of compassion. Compassion brings into play empathy. Compassion is the feeling of true acceptance; of allowing the hardness of our heart to melt as we encounter aspects of our self that we judge or condemn.
Maybe you say, I accept that part of me. But is that acceptance true? Are you secretly saying to accept it only hoping that it will go away? Do you secretly feel shame because of that part?
Compassion is about feeling and empathy
Compassion happens when we feel into and understand our parts. When we understand that all our parts are there for a purpose. That in their own, often misguided way, have our best interest at heart.
Here is an example from my life:
I have a part that doesn’t trust other people. I judge myself for not trusting other people. I see how it can lead to isolation and pushing others away. I judge that as wrong and feel like there is something wrong with me.
When I feel into that part, I notice the emotion of fear. I feel that fear in my belly. When I feel into that, fear, I notice that underneath the fear is sadness and hurt. Memories of being hurt, abused and tormented by other people begin to surface. Feelings of being alone and unprotected. Feelings of being powerless and unsafe. I decided that people weren’t safe. I was alone and I had to do it myself. I had to take care of myself because nobody else would. I became a loner.
With all this information, I can understand why I don’t trust people. People from my past hurt me, emotionally and physically. At the time, I wasn’t safe. I didn’t feel safe. I needed to distance myself from those who would hurt me to stay safe. I became invisible and small. I needed to stay out of their radar. By doing that, I was safer. The choices I made at the time kept me safer and allow me to survive my childhood.
In my adult life, I continued to live by these beliefs and actions. I was small. I was afraid to step out and be seen. I didn’t thrive in life. I didn’t feel fulfilled or loved. And I was afraid. I had many health issues.
By understanding all of this, I could have compassion for myself. I could embrace the part of me that was frightened and needed to be small and push people away. I could understand why I didn’t trust people. I also realized that I had often attracted people to me that treated me with the same disrespect. I was reliving the experience from my childhood again and again.
Yet, now I am an adult. I have resources available that I didn’t then. I could reconsider my choices. At the time, I did what I needed to do to survive and feel safe. I survived my childhood. I grew into an adult. Yet, I had to ask, if these choices were still serving me. Are the decisions I made still true. Are the strategies that I adopted to survive still needed and effective. What is the cost of staying safe? Is what I am losing out on, worth the perceived safety?
From that perspective, I could make different choices. I could use the power of discernment to choose who I let into my life and who I wouldn’t. I could practice self-love by saying no to people who treated me with disrespect or hurt me. I could find new friends whom I felt safe with. I could let people in and feel connected rather than isolated. I could ask for help and not feel I had to do it all alone.
By calling on the power of Compassion we can transform
By accepting and having compassion for the part of me that didn’t trust people, I was able to discover the fear and hurt inside. I could understand the choices I made to keep myself safe. I could reconsider and make different choices. But without acceptance and compassion and some self-inquiry, I was stuck and alone.
Now I have loving considerate friends. I feel connected to myself and to others. I use discernment when I meet people and discretion as to who I allow in my inner circle of close friends. I can ask for help and not feel like I am all alone and frightened all the time.
Also, by going through this process and feeling and accepting with compassion suppressed emotions and creating a life where I didn’t need to be fearful, my body began to heal in ways that it hadn’t before. Pain reduced, sleep improved, fatigue lessened, anxiety dropped, contentment improved.
Transformation is a process
This transformation has been a process. And challenging at times. The fearful part of me, had to take some risks to trust and try a different way of being. Had to risk saying no to people that weren’t respectful or that just didn’t resonate with me. I had to stop being a people pleaser and listen to my deeper inner voice and make the best choice for my well-being even if someone else didn’t approve of it.
It is worth the effort
It was totally worth the effort. I will have many more years of inner peace, love and greater fulfillment for understanding and shifting the old patterns of protection into new patterns of empowerment and self-love. This process allowed me to stop playing small and to access my inner gifts and share them with the world. And finding great fulfillment in that.
The awareness, acceptance and compassion were instrumental in supporting this inner transformation and freeing me from a life of misery and delivering me into a life of freedom, joy and fulfillment. I wish that for you too. That you can meet yourself with awareness, acceptance and compassion to set yourself on the path of transformation and inner peace, fulfillment and improved health.
Awareness Practice for this week:
- Take some time this week to sit with parts of yourself that you judge.
- Do some self-inquiry to identify emotions, thoughts, beliefs, memories and physical sensations connected with that part.
- Watch what happens.
Receiving help for your transformation
I understand this can be a challenging to do alone. I am working on some affordable programs to support you in this work:
- Reclaim your Power Program – a 21-day program to guide you step by step on how to connect with your body, heart, emotions and soul.
- An online group program entitled, “Healing the Pain Body”, where we can come together to support each other in this transformation.
- As always, I also offer one on one sessions to assist you in unraveling the underlying matrix of beliefs, emotions and negative cellular memories to help you to rebuild your health and reclaim your life.
May you meet yourself with compassion, moment by moment.