Mindfulness and Healing

Mindfulness and Healing

Mindfulness and Healing

What happens when my body is filled with pain and fatigue?

How do I practice being fully present when I am miserable?

I want to avoid my pain and misery as much as possible.

What then?

What good does mindfulness do me?

This is a challenge for those of us with fibromyalgia.

I understand.

If you take a short time each day to connect with your body, to breath and feel your body,  it creates a connection with the innate wisdom of your body.

That wisdom can help you to heal your heart and your body.

May you reconnect with your body,


Healing the Abuse Heart Wound Pt 2

Healing the Abuse Heart Wound Pt 2

The Energy / Emotions of the Heart Wound of Abuse

Each time I have set down to write this blog on healing the heart wound of abuse, I feel a sense of fear and trepidation. Today I realized that fear is the energy signature of the heart wound abuse. So, feeling that is perfectly normal as I write this article. I am connected with that heart wound and so can speak more clearly about it by being connected to it.


A reminder of the Heart Wound of Abuse

The heart wound of abuse is a violent Heart Wound. It is an attack on you or another. Whether it by physically, emotionally, mentally, energetically or spiritually. Abuse happens when we are openly criticized, physically abused, sexually abused or emotionally abused. Abuse is a direct statement from the abuser that who we are isn’t OK. It sends the message that who we are isn’t enough; that we need to be someone other than who we are to get our needs met and be loved. 

We often feel like life isn’t safe. We never know when the next ‘blow’ will come. We often compensate for this by becoming a people pleaser. If we can just be or do the right thing, then we will receive love and our needs will be met. Yet our inner self is dying for love, attention and expression. 


Healing the Heart Wound of Abuse

Healing the heart wound of abuse means giving yourself the love and respect that you deserve. Being kind and gentle with yourself. Acknowledging the hurt, sad, angry, shamed and frightened parts of who you are and offering those parts acceptance and compassion.

Seems simple. It may be simple, but can be challenging. Why? When we are abused as a child, physically, mentally or emotionally the scars are very deep and imprinted into our psyche.


We build protections around the wound.

Here are some possible protections:

  • You may not remember the event.
  • You may have a order from the abuser that you cannot disclose what happened.
  • You may feel shame about what happened; told that it was your fault.
  • You don’t want to feel the emotion of the event(s). It is just to scary.
  • You have created coping mechanisms that allow you to function and that feels safe.
  • You have build a protective armor around the wound so that you won’t be hurt again.
  • You may have exiled a part of yourself to feel safe. (ie your joy. playfulness, excitement, passion)

Some Tips to Heal the Abuse Heart Wound

Take it slowly.     

Trying to go too fast can re-traumatize you.

Start by simply acknowledging how you feel.

The heart wound of abuse, leaves a mark of fear in your psyche. You may feel frightened all the time. You might have panic attacks. You might feel chronic low grace anxiety. Acknowledge the anxiety and understand that is the result of the abuse.

You might try to change or control circumstances around you, but that will never make the fear go away. It is a way for the part of you who is afraid trying to feel safe. (If you are currently in an abusive situation, it is ok to leave the situation.)

You might feel anger. You might feel sadness and grief.

Watch and be mindful what triggers the fear or anger.

Notice what triggers fear in you. Do some self inquiry about the trigger. What does it trigger within you? Why? You might want to write in a journal to explore this.

Ask: Does the situation I am in justify the level of fear?

Is the fear or anger exaggerated in proportion to the current situation? Does the current situation warrant that level of fear? If not, that is a sign that a heart wound is involved.

Ask: What are my coping mechanisms to avoid feeling the fear?

What do you grab onto or push away to try to feel safe? Do you over eat to avoid feeling the fear/pain? Do you lose yourself in work to avoid feeling the pain? Do you use alcohol or drugs to avoid feeling the pain?

Do you try to control others to feel safe? Do you try to control yourself to feel safe? Do you judge and criticize yourself? Do you cling to a relationship that doesn’t make you happy? Do you avoid personal relationships? Do you keep attracting the same abusive personalities?

None of these things are bad or wrong. They are ways that you used to be safe in a dangerous situation. They are ways that you used to protect yourself.

Yet, acknowledge them and ask if they are still keeping your safe or are they holding you back from being free of the heart wound.

Ask: What belief systems were born out of the abuse?

Here are some examples: I am a loser. I am not safe. People aren’t safe. The world isn’t safe. All men are bad. Everyone is out to get me.

Exploring the shadow side is an important part of healing the heart wound of abuse.

Comfort yourself

Acknowledge the wounded parts of yourself and practice meeting them with acceptance, compassion and understanding. Be present with the pain of your abused parts and let them know that the pain can and will end.

Return to the 6 steps to heal a heart wound.

Take some time each day, week or month to set down with the 6 steps to heal a heart wound. Which ones resonate with you? Which ones terrify you? Are there ones that bring up tears? Anger?

You can journal about the steps and your reaction to them. Or do a self inquiry and journal around each step.

Reach out

Create healthy relationships. Spend time with people who you feel good around. And or someone who can give you the space to vent and release emotions safely.

Reach out to someone skilled in healing heart wounds. Acceptance, compassion and support are an important baseline skills for a practitioner.

Remember the three A’s

Sometimes we try really hard to heal our self. We try to change who we are into someone that we think we should be. We try to change our circumstances. We try to change others.

The three A’s of acceptance, awareness, and adjustment can bring about a deep healing. They are about accepting how we are right now. Out of that a deeper healing can occur. The parts of you who are wounded need your awareness, love and compassion in order to heal. To push them away, re-wounds them and keeps them locked in exile and they continue to vibrate in your subconscious sending a fear message to your nervous system.

Awareness – simply acknowledging what is right here, right now.

Acceptance – accepting what is right here, right now.

Adjustment – Out of acceptance comes choice. We can choose to feel. We can chose a different response to an event or person. We can chose new beliefs. And sometimes with acceptance, healing takes place spontaneously and a situation can resolve itself.

6 Steps to Heal a Heart Wound:

  1. Acknowledge the wound. Realize it is there and tell the truth about it.
  2. Allow yourself to feel the emotions and the pain of the wound.
  3. Realize the coping mechanisms that you created to survive.
  4. Acknowledge the negative beliefs about yourself, others, the world and God that came out of the heart wound.
  5. Re-script the beliefs from life negative beliefs to life enhancing beliefs.
  6. Choose different actions and ways of being that are more life enhancing.


If you have heart wounds, the Rejuvenate program is a great place to start. The rejuvenate program is designed to help in the healing of heart wounds. When I began practicing yoga, relaxation, breathwork and meditation, I became more aware of my heart wounds and had the tools to unwind the wounds and reclaim my heart. Click here to find out more or see below.

Private Heart Healing Sessions

It is almost impossible to heal your heart wound on your own. You have build in protective mechanisms that were created to keep yourself safe and survive the experience. Those protective mechanism will block your healing unless you work with someone with enough experience to successfully navigate the inner landscape.

If you are considering one on one support in healing heart wounds, click here to sign up for a complementary Heart Healing Session. Or scroll down for more information.

May you heal your heart,



Discover a nurturing experience that supports you in:

  • Healing your heart wounds
  • Rediscover your authentic self
  • Nurture and love your body
  • Discover inner peace
  • Release pain and tension
  • De-escalate anxiety
  • Reduce depression
  • Improve sleep
  • Increasing self awareness
  • Build self care and self love

 Heart Wound Healing and Support

Complimentary Session

 Available via phone, skype, zoom or facetime

 Heart Healing Session

with Bindu

  • Feel accepted however you show up
  • Feel heard and understood
  • Share the burden of your pain
  • Experience a safe space for healing
  • Ask any questions that you have
  • Receive guidance in healing the heart
  • No pressure or hard sells
  • Experience unconditional love
  • Reclaim hope
  • Receive support

Why Willpower Doesn’t Work . . . And What Does!

Why Willpower Doesn’t Work . . . And What Does!

Why Willpower does not work . . .  and what does!


We all have habits, mental patterns, emotional patterns that we dislike.  How often have you tried to change those habits and patterns only to fail?  Maybe it worked temporarily, then the pattern reemerged.  Or perhaps it just never worked.

Have you been called weak for not being about to change a pattern or habit?  Have you criticized yourself for being weak willed?  Have you given up on trying to change and accept status quo, yet still find an underlying desire for the change you envisioned?


Why do we fail?

Most of the time, when we attempt to change patterns or habits, we are working on the level of the conscious mind and trying to change from the outside in.  We give little or no credence to our subconscious mind, which in truth runs the show.

Our subconscious mind holds the memories of our positive life experiences, negative life experiences and traumas.  Out of these experiences, we develop beliefs and protections based on our experiences.  Our self-defeating patterns are fueled by these subconscious memories.  These memories will win in the battle between the mind and the subconscious memories.

In my work in assisting my clients in unraveling their subconscious pattern, I am again and again amazed at the power of the subconscious.  Often the need to for safety, security, life, and love, held in the subconscious, is at the root of these patterns.  They are not going to go away until getting these needs met is reasonable assured.  This is not logical.  It is deeply held in the limbic brain which is driven by the emotional feeling body.

Give yourself a break.  It is not your fault that your efforts have failed.  You just did not have the right tools to work with.


What does work? 

The primary ingredients in being able to unravel negative patterns is Awareness, Acceptance and Compassion.

Awareness.  As we become more aware of our body, mind, and emotions, we can begin to see the underlying components of the pattern.  The emotions we do not want to feel.  The negative beliefs about ourselves and others to escape from feeling our emotions.  The protective habits we have normalized to the point that we do not even question them . . . and assume that is just who we are.

Acceptance.  Acceptance is the ability to greet that which arises will acceptance.  This can be a difficult step as we are often our own self-critic.  That is one of the patterns that we need to dismantle.  Yet, if we can accept all that arises, even our own self critic, we can begin to discover deeper motivations for our self-defeating actions and beliefs.

By greeting our inner parts with an attitude of curiosity rather than an attitude of criticism, we can begin to understand how the underlying parts fueling the negative beliefs and habits, have our best interest in mind.  Yet the beliefs and habits might be outdated, not really needed anymore, and sabotage our health and happiness.

Compassion   Compassion allows us to hold our self with understanding rather than blame.  Compassion is the ability to be present with painful experiences and emotions without turning away from our self.  Compassion is our ability to greet all our parts, positive and negative, with understanding and forgiveness.  It is the ability to give to our self the love and acceptance that was previously withheld.

By participating in a cyclic process of awareness, acceptance, and compassion, we can unravel the underlying subconscious destructive cellular memories and trapped emotions that are fueling our self-defeating patterns.  As we become more aware of our underlying programming, the patterns begin to unravel themselves and we move closer to who we really are.


The Hidden Gift

While Awareness, Acceptance and Compassion may not be a quick fix, it will provide real and lasting changes.  More importantly, it will bring you into a healthy, loving, and compassionate relationship with your Self and all your parts.  That is a journey worth taking.  That is the treasure hidden within.  From a place of Self, you will discover deep the inner fulfillment that your soul craves.  That is priceless.   


Free Mini Course 

My free Mini Course, Six Steps to Resolve Hidden Stressors, provides a blueprint that can be help bring the subconscious in to awareness.  If you use this on a regular basis when you are struggling with a challenge in your life, you can get insights into the underlying factors in self-defeating patterns. 

If you do not have the Mini Course, click here to receive it.  If you have it, pull it out, dust it off and give it a try.  If you have questions about the Mini Course, join my Facebook Group, I Want to Be Healthy which was created to answer questions and provide a place for discussions about the Mini Course.  If you have not joined, you can do so by clicking on this link.


Awareness Practice

  1. Take an inventory of your challenges. Make a list of all the things that you complain about in your life.  Under each of these complaints is a hidden treasure.
  2. Use the worksheet in the Mini Course as a self-inquiry guide.
  3. Explore one challenge at a time.
  4. Become more aware of the emotions and beliefs underlying your areas of challenge.
  5. Notice your relationship with your emotions and explore ways to embrace your emotions.
  6. Create some truth focus statements to remind you of the experience you would like to have.
  7. Use the truth focus statements to remind you of your higher intention.


 May you discover the wealth of the Self within, 




The Power of Mindfulness

Mindfulness means being aware of what is happening now in this moment.  Paying attention.  Our body, our heart and our soul and our mind is talking to us all the time.  The body sends us messages through the vehicle of sensation.  Our heart sends us messages through the vehicle of feeling.  Our soul sends us messages through the vehicle of “knowing.”  Our mind sends us messages through the vehicle of thought.


Do we listen to our body, heart, and soul?

In our society, we tend to listen to the mind/thoughts over our body/sensation, our heart/feelings and our soul/knowing.  We value the mind over the feelings of the heart and the sensations of the body and the knowing of the soul.  Unfortunately, the mind has a limited perspective and so if we only listen to the mind, we don’t see the whole picture.  It would be like cutting off three of your fingers.  Your hand would be much less useful with only a thumb.  That is how it is when we only listen to the mind and not the body/sensation, heart/feeling and soul/knowing.

The body, heart and soul have important and very useful information for us.  We need to learn how to listen and respond favorably to these messages and balance them with the thoughts in the mind.   The question then becomes, how do we do this?


How do we learn to listen?

Here are some practical ways to exercise the muscle of mindfulness.  Listen to your body when you eat.  How does it feel after eating a certain food?  Listen to your body when you exercise.  How does your body feel after exercise?  Self-inquiry is a tool with which you can deepen your connection with the body, feelings and knowing.  Taking a two-minute breathing break is an important exercise to stop the habit of being only in the mind and reinforce the awareness of the breath and body.


The Importance of Slowing Down

In our busy lives, it is often difficult to slow down enough to pay attention to the messages from within.  We are used to being guided by the mind and by listening to others through news, media, magazines, books internet.  We are overloaded with information from the external world.  In terms of balance, we also need to “hear” what our internal world is saying.  So, once again, how do we do this?

Mindfulness is the practice of slowing down and paying attention to what is happening in the moment as you are moving through life.  It can be as simple as taking deep breaths and feeling your body.  It can be really paying attention while brushing your teeth.  It can be taking a deep breath and feeling an emotion rather than distracting yourself with something or pushing the emotion down.  You can ask yourself, what is happening right now, physically, mentally, emotionally in any moment in any situation.

Mindfulness Exercise

Here is a mindfulness exercise that you can practice sitting or lying down. Perhaps at the end of a busy day.  Or a night before you fall asleep.  

1.  Sit quietly and close your eyes.

2.  Simply feel your body.

3.  Become aware of your breath and notice how you are breathing. Watch the breath move in your body.  Where does the breath move?  Where is it restricted?

4.  Allow the breath to lengthen and deepen. Lengthen the inhalation.  Let the exhalation fall out of the body.

5.  Continue to feel your body and the sensations within the body. Are you energized, fatigued, tense, relaxed?  Are there areas of tension, areas of relaxation?  Allow yourself to move if you feel drawn to do that.

6.  Notice your emotions. Are you happy, sad, joyful, angry, frustrated?  Are you neutral?  Imagine there are many flavors of emotions, just like flavors of ice cream.  What flavor are you today?

7.  Then begin to notice your mind. It is busy or quiet.  Is it slow or speedy?  Notice the nature of your thoughts?  What is the content of your thoughts?

8.  Notice if there are judgments of right or wrong. Let them go. This is just about being aware.

9.  Now, bring your attention to the part of you that is watching the body, the breath, the emotions and the mind. We will call this The Witness.  The witness is the stillness within the body, mind and emotions from where you can watch yourself and the world.  It is always there, we just have forgotten it in the business of our lives.  The breath helps us connect to The Witness.  Spend a few moments with this process.  See if you can anchor yourself in the awareness, the witness.

10.  Now, staying in touch with the witness, open your eyes. Keep your attention focused inside while watching what is happening outside of you.   Look around the room.  Notice whatever you see.  Notice the sensations in your body.  Notice the emotions.  Notice the commentary by the mind.  Notice if you lose touch with the witness.  If so, close your eyes again and anchor you focus inside.

May you be aware, peaceful and free,


The Power of Acceptance

The Power of Acceptance

Last week, we talked about the Power of Awareness.  Once you become aware of something, the next step is Acceptance.  This week let’s explore the Power of Acceptance. 

I think word acceptance is scary for most of us.  This is especially true for women with Fibromyalgia.  We think, “If I accept this, then I will never get rid of it.  The only way I can get rid of it is to reject it or fight it.”  You even might think, “How can I possibly accept something this horrible!”  I get it.  I was there.   

Acceptance is the door to the path of moving beyond any experience 

For years, I fought my fibromyalgia.

I thought I could push myself through and beyond it.  I didn’t fully accept my limitations.  After several years of this, my fibromyalgia got so bad that the pain was worse than ever.  I ACCEPTED that what I was doing wasn’t working and was not sustainable.

I had to accept that what I could do was limited and if I pushed myself trying to keep up with a life that I once had or a life that I wanted, I was only making things worse.  Out of that acceptance, I was able to truthfully reassess my choices.  I had to accept that I could only work a certain number of hours a day.  I had to accept that if I pushed myself physically, I would be in severe pain for the next few days.  I had to accept that I never knew what I would feel like in the morning and that I had to adjust my day based on how I felt when I woke up.  Some days, I felt pretty good and could get a lot done.  Some days, I felt awful and needed to move more slowly.   Somedays, I had brain fog and had to adjust to accommodate that; sometimes just knowing the same amount of mental work would take longer.


Only by accepting my limitations, I could make better choices

As I accepted and respected my limitations,  I could make better choices.  Here are some examples:

  • I began to be notice when I started getting tired and if I pushed myself past the fatigue, the pain would kick in. By accepting that, and stopping when I got tired, I experienced less pain.
  • I began to notice what physical activities would heighten the pain. By accepting that, I would avoid them when possible or do them on a day, where I could rest the following day.
  • I began to be aware of food choices that made me feel worse. By accepting that, I could make different food choices.  And honestly, I fought that one for a long time . . and paid the price.
  • I accepted that most medical doctors didn’t have solutions for fibromyalgia that were acceptable or workable for me, so I made different choices. I researched and discovered different options and found those that worked for me.


I began to accept that I had fibromyalgia and it limited me . . .

and if I wanted to move beyond it, I had to accept those limitations.


Here is a non-fibromyalgia example.

I was in a relationship with a person who was emotionally abusive.  I accepted that as the truth of the situation.  I also had to accept that I couldn’t change him and that it was unlikely that he would change.  I also realized that I stayed in the relationship out of a deep desire to be loved and was afraid if I left the relationship, I would be alone.  Out of these realizations, I took steps to widen out my circle of friends.  I began to realize that I was more content alone that when I was with the other person.  I had to make some hard decisions and ask the man to leave and then stand with my decision.   I am so glad that I did.  I am in a much better place as a result of these choices.  I feel strong in myself and less needy of others. 

Accepting ‘what is’, gives you the power to make different choices. 

Resisting ‘what is’, drains your energy and keeps you stuck. 

Awareness turns the light on ‘what is’.

Accepting ‘what is’ gives you the power find solutions. 

Self-Inquiry for this week:

  • Take an honest evaluation of yourself and your relationship with fibromyalgia. Are you fighting is or accepting it?  If you accepted it, what changes could you make?  What options might open up for you?  
  • What other areas in your life do you resist? What would it mean if you accepted the reality of the situation?  What changes might that inspire you to take?


May you embrace the Power of Acceptance and allow it to transform your life, 


The Power of Awareness

The Power of Awareness

The Power of Awareness 

Imagine going into a house in the middle of the night, the sky is cloudy, no stars and no moon.  You walk in the front door.  The house is dark.  You can’t find the light switch.  Finally, you find a small candle.  It is very dim, but you can see a little bit.  The house is very cluttered.  Furniture and piles of stuff lying around.    Yet as the light from the candle is so dim, you keep tripping over stuff in the dark.  You fall down again and again and have to keep hauling yourself up from the ground.  It gets very tiring.  

A friend arrives and brings you a very large spotlight.  When you turn it on, you can see the house clearly.  You can see what is in the house more clearly.  You can discern useful furniture and appliances.  You can see piles of junk mail that is no longer needed.  You can see pile of unfinished projects. 


This demonstrated the Power of Awareness 

Our body is the house.  Within the body resides unfinished business and unnecessary thoughts, emotions and cellular memories.  Also, within the body resided our inner knowing, necessary functions, abilities, good judgement.  

By increasing awareness, we have the ability to see things more clearly.  The good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.  Sometimes we don’t want the awareness because we don’t want to see the bad and ugly.  However, that only keep us stuck tripping over the mess and falling down and having to lift ourselves out of the mess again and again.  


A dose of acceptance goes a long way 

Along with awareness, an equal measure of acceptance is necessary.  With acceptance we observe from a place of equanimity and use discernment to discover what is helpful and valuable and what can be discarded. 


What clouds awareness 

The greatest block to awareness is the mind.   For most of us, our mind is going constantly day and night.  There is very little space for awareness to shine through the business of the mind.   To access awareness, we need to begin to break up the constant stream of thinking. 


Tools to nurture awareness 

Here are some tools to create gaps in the stream of thought and access awareness. 

  1. By bringing you attention the breath for even a few moments can create a gap in the thoughts.  Give it a try right now.  See what happens with you pause to focus on your breath.  If you have even a 3 second gap between the thought, that is a great starting place. 
  2. Slowing down the breath. Slowing down the breath takes more attention away from your thoughts and can create additional gaps in the breath. 
  3. Become conscious of your surroundings. Really see and feel the chair you are setting on.  Touch the table in front of you.  Notice the feel of the surface and the colors.  Look at the walls and notice pictures and other things hanging on the walls. Go outside and look at the sky; admire the flowers beginning to bloom; the trees getting buds; the snow on the ground. 
  4. Truly see other people. The next person you encounter, stop thinking for a few minutes and really look at them.  See them.  Let go of your thoughts about them.  See their face, their body posture, the expression they wear.  What can you observe beyond your chronic thoughts about them?  

These tools will allow you to begin to break the addiction of thinking and open to moments of the awareness the already exists beyond the mind. 


Awareness practice 

This week, practice taking mini awareness breaks using some of the suggestions above or creating your own.  


May you grow in awareness,