Years ago, someone introduced me to the difference between pain and suffering.  Until that time, I hadn’t made a distinction between the two.  To me, pain and suffering was the same thing.  Over the years, I began to begin to see the difference between the two . . . and that makes a huge difference in my experience.  Let’s explore this and how it relates to women with fibromyalgia.

 

Pain

Although there are other kinds of pain, for this part of the conversation, I will define pain as a sensation in the body.   We might have back pain, abdominal pain, headaches, neck and shoulder pain.    Our legs might ache.   We might have a burning sensation on our skin.

In this definition, pain is a sensation in the physical body.    Take a moment now and bring your attention to a place in your body where you feel pain.  Focus on that sensation as nothing more than a sensation in the body.    Rate the sensation on a scale of 1-10.  Ten being extremely intense, I gotta stop this and one being barely noticeable.

For a few moments simply observe the pain as a sensation and nothing more.  And for an extra bonus, deepen your breath while you do so.   Continue to observe the pain as sensation.

I am not saying to minimize the pain or the importance of it.  I am saying to simply for a few moments to just be present with the pain.  Watch what happens as you observe the pain.

Notice how successful you are at this or not.  Can you be present with the pain without any thoughts about the pain other than it is a sensation in the body?   Most of us can’t do that.  For most of us, our mind will be filled with thoughts and emotions will arise.

 

Suffering

Now become aware of the mental and emotional content around the pain.  I am not trying to minimize or marginalize your pain.  But to help you differentiate the difference between the mental and emotional pain and the physical pain.  Both are real.  Both are painful.  Both need to be addressed.

Now, as your focus on the sensation in your body, also become aware of your thoughts and the emotions you are feeling.

Do you feel sad, angry, frustrated, disappointed, resigned, upset, discouraged?  What flavor is your emotion that is connected to the physical sensation in the body?

What thoughts come into your mind as you observe the sensation in the body?  Here are a few out of an infinite number of possibilities.  I hate this pain.  It is my fault.  Why did this happen to me?  How can I get rid of this pain?  I hope the doctors find a cure soon.  Nobody believes me.  Why don’t they understand how miserable I feel?   I hate it when people tell me it is all in my head!

When we are dealing with fibromyalgia, we experience physical, emotional and mental pain.  The emotional and mental part is what I called suffering.  It magnifies the physical pain.  This isn’t bad or wrong.  It is simply a way to pull apart the elements in the matrix called fibromyalgia.

 

Why is this important? 

This is important because it identifies and makes more conscious the puzzle pieces that make up the experience of fibromyalgia.    The more aware and conscious we are of the pieces, the more empowered we are to transform the experience.

For example.    You have pain in your abdomen.  When you focus on that sensation, you begin to feel sad.  You mind says, nobody hears me or understands me.     This is a sign that there may be an emotional wound underlying the pain in your abdomen.    Sub or unconscious cellular memories of a time when you were unheard and disrespected and misunderstood.  With the right tools, the sub and unconscious cellular memories can be neutralized and can alleviate the pain.

This is a simple example, but it illustrates the underlying cause of some of our physical pain.  There are other causes of physical pain as well.   Here are links to some previous blogs that focus on the physical causes of pain.  Anatomy of a Symptom and 12 Steps to Balance the Body

I know that this is a big trigger for many women with fibromyalgia.   I know because I had it too.  How often are women with fibromyalgia told things like:  “It is all in your head”.  “Your pain can’t be that bad”.  “You are too sensitive.”  “Everyone has pain.”  “You are just lazy.”    And when we are suffering and people say that it simply makes the pain worse.

I had a part of me that never felt valued, understood, respected, heard or loved.    For me, that was just as painful as the physical pain.  Maybe even worse.    I think that many of us, as women with fibromyalgia, have a common emotional wound around not feeling heard and believed.  My mom had that.  I had that.   Do you?   What are your triggers?  What is the predominate emotional pain in your life?   That holds the key to part of the healing process.

 

Anxiety and Depression

Anxiety and depression are common symptoms of fibromyalgia.  They are both signs that there are unresolved suppressed emotions, trauma and/or negative life experiences.  This can be resolved with the right tools and support.

I am working on a program to assist women with fibromyalgia to move beyond these kinds of unresolved experiences.  Stay tuned.

 

Awareness practice for this week:

Take some time to focus on the “sensations” in your body and notice your thoughts and emotions while you do so.  See if you can discern unique patterns with different parts of the body.   Have fun experimenting with this.  It doesn’t need to be serious . . . unless it is.

 

May you discover the transformative power of self-love, 

Bindu

 

 Fundamentals of Health, Wellness, and Wholeness

Fibromyalgia and other chronic illnesses are challenging on many levels.  We are physically compromised, emotionally out of balance, and mentally stressed.  We want solutions to our pain and discomfort.  We search and often the solutions come up with none or minimal results.  This becomes stress on top of the stress of being ill in the first place.

What then can we do to reclaim our health and happiness . . . our wellness and ultimately wholeness?

Today’s article is focusing on what I call the Fundamental of Wholeness.  These are eight important aspects to rebuilding our wellness.  Below is a list of the fundamentals of wellness.  They create a foundation upon which to rebuild our health, wellness and wholeness.

• Awareness
• Compassion
• Balance
• Acceptance
• Introspection / Self-inquiry
• Self-Responsibility.
• Insights
• Integration

Awareness

The ability to be self-aware.  To observe our body, our mind, our emotions from a place of awareness rather than identification.  In other words, to be able to observe our self objectively.  We can be aware of the sensation and pain in our body, the emotions that we feel, the thought that we think.  We can start with our conscious thoughts, and then delve into a deeper layer of subconscious thoughts and emotions.

 

Compassion

As we meet our self with awareness, compassion is a necessary ingredient.   There are parts of us that we might judge or disown.  By meeting our self with compassion, we can identify positive and negative experiences, emotions, thoughts, and memories.  We can see the good, bad, ugly and beautiful parts of who we are.  Without compassion, we may block truly seeing because we have literally and figuratively exiled parts of who we are as they are deemed unacceptable.   Yet, until you can meet these parts with compassion, wholeness will continue to elude you.

 

Balance

Balance is at the root of health, wellness and wholeness.  Everything in nature survives and thrives because of a state of balance.  Your physical body has 12 homeostatic (balancing) control mechanisms that keep your body functioning and healthy.  Emotionally, we need a balance of positive and negative emotions to be emotionally healthy.  Mentally, we need a balance between positive thoughts and negative thoughts.  A healthy optimistic attitude with a healthy dose of reality and awareness of possible difficulties.  We need a balance of rest and activity, work and play, alone time and time with others.  When discovering the right balance for you, health, wellness and wholeness will be the rewards.

 

Acceptance

Acceptance is acknowledging what is.  That doesn’t mean we have to like it.  It means telling the truth about what is.  When we are honest about what is, we have the power to change is.  If we are denying the truth, ignoring it, or pushing it out of our awareness, we are powerless to change it.

 

Introspection / Self-inquiry

Self-inquiry allows us to go within and discover who we are, what we think, feel, need, want, like, dislike.  What are greatest joys are, what are greatest challenge are. Self-Inquiry allows us to discover internal causes of challenges and discover resolutions from within.

 

Insights

The process of awareness, compassion, acceptance, and introspection results in insights from within.  We can see parts of our self we had previously denied.  We can see how we are creating our own stress.  We can see how we have given our power away.  These and many more insights are available with meeting our self with awareness, compassion and acceptance.

 

Self-Responsibility

When I first heard the word responsibility, to me it meant self-blame.  Then I heard a new definition of the word which was, “ability to respond.”  The ability to respond rather than the old knee jerk reaction to any situation is a step to reclaiming our power.  To look at any situation or challenge with awareness, compassion, acceptance and introspection gives us needed information and insights upon which to make internal changes or take external actions, guided from within.  That is self-responsibility.

 

Integration

Integration happens as the new awareness’s, insights, internal shifts and responsible actions become integrated into our lives.  We begin to feel more empowered in our lives.  We can let go of feeling like a victim to our circumstances or feeling like the answers to our problems are outside of us.   We can let go of coping mechanism and begin to let our true self shine through.

 

Summary: 

The fundamentals of health, wellness and wholeness have the power to impact us on all levels of our being: physical, mental, emotional, energetic, spiritual and in our expression in and interaction with the world around us. 

 

This week’s introspection: 

Contemplate these fundamentals and notice which resonate with you and which don’t.  Pick one or more to experiment with becoming aware of how it operates or not in your life.    Remember, awareness is the foundation of all change.

 

May you have a blessed Thanksgiving and have much to be grateful.  

Bindu

Pain is the name of the game

Fibromyalgia is a painful challenging illness.  We have physical pain, emotional pain and mental pain.  It disrupts our lives and can steal all that we hold dear.

How can we move beyond the pain?

For years, I fought the fibromyalgia.  I pushed beyond the pain trying to out smart it, to move beyond it.  Eventually, with this approach, I collapsed and made myself even worse.  That didn’t get me anywhere. I changed my strategy.  I began to listen to my body.  I learned to surrender to the limits my body set on me.  I began to listen to my heart to hear the emotional pain underneath the physical pain.

Listening to my own pain, was an act of self-love

As I continued to listen and be present with myself and the pain, I began to create a relationship with my inner self.  I stopped the inner struggle between my heart and my mind.   My mind would push me to achieve externally.  My heart wanted rest and comfort.

Honoring all parts of myself

As my process continued, I learned to create balance between the warring parts of myself.  I learned to hear and nurture the frightened, vulnerable part of my self.  I learned when to work, when to rest.  I learned when to give way to the productive side of my that felt fulfilled through work or hobbies.

In the process I became whole

By hearing all parts of my being, and giving each part of me attention and a voice, I became more whole.  I was more balance and fulfilled.  I didn’t need the pain screaming at me to stop and rest or to give myself some nurturing attention.  The pain subsided.  I am more at peace within myself.

Guidance from within.

If the pain flares up, I need to stop and listen to my heart.  What is out of balance?  What am I missing?  Where do I need to go?  What do I need to do?  Guidance comes, I listen, I apply.  Balance returns.

Life is good.