Did you know that trauma hijacks your mind?
We have explored the impact of trauma on our nervous system. When we experience trauma, our nervous system can become disregulated and we can be in sympathetic dominate (fight or flight) or parasympathetic dominate (freeze or immobilize).
The state of your nervous system has a profound impact on your mind.
I certainly have experienced this. More so in the past, but even now if I get triggered by something.
On days that I wake up fatigued (parasympathetic dominate), life feels like an unbearable burden. I have no ambition, and my mind fills with thoughts of not being good enough, my life is over, why do I even try. I can’t do this. You get the picture.
When something happens to trigger my fears (sympathetic dominate), it feels like there is danger no matter which direction I go. Life isn’t safe. My thoughts reinforce those feelings. I think that nobody likes me. I think that something bad is going to happen. How can I protect myself from danger? What do I need to do to keep myself safe?
Over time, I realized that if I fought my mind at these times, it was a never-ending stressful struggle, and I was on the loosing end.
What to do?
I know that negative thinking can literally be painful. To be caught in the never-ending stream of negative thoughts kills your spirit and dampens your enthusiasm for life.
Yet fighting it only makes it stronger. The negative thinking part seems to enjoy the battle. It is said that the pain-body feeds itself by creating chaos. And negative thinking is one way to do this. Fighting the negative thinking feeds the chaos.
There is a saying, “What you resist, persists”.
But there is a way to neutralize negative thinking.
6 steps to neutralize negative thinking.
- Acknowledge that your mind is caught in a negative thinking loop.
Awareness takes some of the power away from the negative loop. It is easier for your subconscious pain body to control you when you are unaware.
- Place your hand on your heart and take some long deep breaths.
Breathing in for 2 -4 counts and then exhaling for 4- 8 counts. What matters here is that the outbreath is longer than the in breath.
Placing the hand on your heart connects you to your inner self.
The deeper breaths help to regulate the nervous system and bring you into a more regulated state which allows for conscious choice.
- Become curious about the negative thoughts.
Watch the thoughts with curiosity and interest. The part of you who is thinking negative thoughts will feel heard and seen. Which is what it wants and needs.
- Ask that part what it is feeling.
By acknowledging the underlying feeling further disarms the negative thinking. By acknowledging the emotion, that part will again feel heard and seen. Emotions are the fuel for the negative thoughts.
- Ask that part what it needs.
Under every negative emotion is an unmet need. Acknowledging and responding to the unmet need can dispel the negative emotions.
- Provide some reassuring positive statements based on the need of the wounded part and/or take action if needed.
What does that part need to hear from you? Perhaps the wounded part just needs to be heard and acknowledged. Perhaps it needs to know it is safe or loved.
If that part needs you to take action, do that. By responding to the need, you will develop a relationship based on mutual respect and trust with the part that was in need and your deeper self.
This practice can become a new way of being
In the beginning, this can seem challenging and even weird. But over time, you will develop a deeper relationship with your wounded parts. Our wounded parts arose out of trauma and didn’t get their needs met at the time of the trauma.
You might even consider some of these parts bad or wrong. That is also the result of trauma. We exile or abandon parts of who we are. And we develop protective parts to keep them suppressed and to avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions.
These parts act out in unconscious ways to maintain the status quo. Status quo feels safe because it is known. But they also hold us back from healing our trauma and moving forward with our lives.
True Healing
True healing occurs when we acknowledge, embrace, and heal all our parts. They all have something to offer us, and they all have a positive role to play in our lives.
If you need support around this, feel free to connect with me. I offer Inner Presence sessions where I support you in exploring the underlying causes of negative thinking, negative emotional states, and trauma. It can be challenging to do this on your own, as your own protective parts will often get in the way.
If interested in exploring this, send me a message via my contact form or respond to this email. I can offer a complementary 20-minute consultation to explore whether working with me seems right for you.
May you be healed, 💗Bindu
