Through my life, I have changed my personality many times. Here is an example: I used to not be a very nice person. I was mean and drove other people mercilessly. Then I became too wishy washy and let others push me around. Now, I am finding more balance developing a healthy sense of self where I can be assertive with my own truth without needing to demand that others believe the way that I do. Certainly there are aspects of me that don’t change, but there are parts of that do change. Why is this?
Often when I meet with people and work with them, they talk about aspects of their personality that get in their way of achieving their dreams and claim emphatically, “this is who I am.” And the unspoken belief is that this will never change. Out of my own experience, I have learned to question this. Let me explain.
Who am I really?
At the core of who we are is a loving, creative, joyful, patient, accepting being. We are at one with life and are powerful creators. We can have anything that we choose. The question becomes, “why am I angry, unforgiving, stuck, unhealthy, fearful, worried, etc? Why do I have difficulty in relationships, improving my health and achieving my dreams and desires?
How did I decide I wasn’t an amazing reflection of the Divine?
I think that the answer is twofold. First, we are unaware of the impact of our enculturation on us. In the first 6 years of life, beginning with conception, we are like sponges, just soaking up whatever is in our environment without any filters. We come into this world open, trusting and innocent. The problem is that, for most of us, the environment and people in these first six years of our life were not expressing or living their life as a loving, creative, joyful, patient, accepting being. So, we absorbed their limiting beliefs, negative emotions and undesirable personality traits. Also, as a result of experiences in our childhood, we developed our own set of beliefs, such as “life is not safe”, “I must work hard to make a living”, and “I have to do it myself.” And the biggie . . . “I am not ok.”
What does my bio-chemistry have to do with it?
The second part of the answer has to do with bio-chemistry. When we eat an unhealthy diet that is not suited to us, our biochemistry gets out of balance. This can cause many physical and emotional difficulties such as depression, lack of drive and ambition, spaciness, mind fog, and irritability just to name a few. Changes in diet, and appropriate nutritional support can completely change these things. For example, when I eat sugar, it is like I am on speed. I get hyper active and very impulsive. I don’t sleep well and my digestive system doesn’t function properly. When I eliminate the sugar, I am a more balanced, patient, grounded person with steady energy and mood.
This month, begin to observe yourself. Look at the patterns in yourself or your life that don’t serve you. Awareness is the first step to change. Acceptance is the second step. Willingness to change is the third step.
For the next month, endeavor to become more aware of patterns that are not serving you. Notice if you can fully accept that part of yourself without judgment. If, not, practice accepting yourself as you are and letting go of the judgment. Thirdly, simply create the willingness to change, to accept yourself as you are and the willingness to let go of patterns and beliefs that do not serve your highest dreams and desires. Notice what unfolds and continue the process of unconditional self-love and acceptance.