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The heart wound of abuse is a violent Heart Wound. It is an attack on you or another. Whether it by physically, emotionally, mentally, energetically or spiritually.

Abuse happens when we are openly criticized, physically abused, sexually abused or emotionally abused. Abuse is a direct statement from the abuser that who we are isn’t OK. It sends the message that who we are isn’t enough; that we need to be someone other than who we are to get our needs met and be loved. 

We often feel like life isn’t safe. We never know when the next ‘blow’ will come. We often compensate for this by becoming a people pleaser. If we can just be or do the right thing, then we will receive love and our needs will be met. Yet our inner self is dying for love, attention and expression. 

The emotions mostly associated with the abuse heart wound are fear, anger and shame. Fear of when the next attack will come. Anger is the part of us that wants to fight back, but for most of us with this heart wound the attacker was bigger, stronger, in a position of authority or otherwise intimidating. Often the heart wound attack accompanies a threat verbally or non-verbally that if we tell anyone what is happening, then you or someone you care about will pay the consequences, which won’t be pretty, but just another attack. Sometimes we can’t share this with anyone else because of the shame that we feel about what happened. Or the belief that it is somehow our fault.

If the attacker was a close family member, especially a parent and/or siblings, it creates a distrust of people. And sometimes distrust of those who tell us the most that they love us. Sometimes the abuse is having to watch or hear the abuse of another, whether that be a parent, sibling, or pet. We feel powerless to stop the attacker. We feel ashamed that we can’t or won’t stand up to the attacker. The fear of the consequences overwhelms us into submission.

The threat of an attack is just as harmful as an outright attack. A man standing over you with his fists clenched and an angry look on his face is just as damaging to the psyche as the physical blow.

Abuse shatters a part of us. It shatters our sense of self, our sense of well-being, our sense of safety.

Consequences of the Heart Wound Abuse

The consequences of the heart wound abuse can go in two different directions. We can become submissive, mousy, invisible, compliant, passive.

The other end of the spectrum is becoming like the abuser, becoming an abuser yourself. You keep the pattern of abuse in your family alive for another generation.

Sometimes the victim of abuse turns the abuse inward and repeats the programming of the abuser toward them self by being self critical, cutting, drinking, drugs, compulsive eating, addictions, and other self harmful actions.

We might become perfectionist as a defense mechanism against abuse, if I could just do it right, it would be ok. Or we might demand perfection from others. We might become controlling because that is the only way we feel safe. We might let others stomp all over us because we think we deserve it or are afraid of others abusing us if we don’t comply.

We might isolate our self because only then we feel safe. Or become demanding that our needs be met. We might marry an abusive partner or have an abusive boss or co-worker. We could be magnets for abusers. We might have anger issues that burst out uncontrollably.

As a victim of abuse your health will suffer. We could suffer from anxiety and depression. Without healing the heart would of attack, the fearful cellular memories will continuously broadcast a fear message to your nervous system. Your body will live in fight or flight all or most of the time. You will have difficulty relaxing and resting. You may be driven to be a workaholic. You may be afraid of being vulnerable and have a protective wall around you.

You will have lost your childlike wonder and curiosity. Your gifts will often be suppressed. Happiness is nearly impossible. You may have an autoimmune illness or other health problems.


Healing the Heart Wound of Abuse

Healing the heart wound of abuse means giving yourself the love and respect that you deserve. Being kind and gentle with yourself. Acknowledging the hurt, sad, angry, shamed and frightened parts of who you are and offering those parts acceptance and compassion.

Next week will be part 2 of Healing the Heart Wound of Abuse. For this week, reflect on the following. Notice what resonates with you.

I’ll also share my experience with and healing of my heart wounds of abuse another time.

6 Steps to Heal a Heart Wound:

  1. Acknowledge the wound. Realize it is there and tell the truth about it.
  2. Allow yourself to feel the emotions and the pain of the wound.
  3. Realize the coping mechanisms that you created to survive.
  4. Acknowledge the negative beliefs about yourself, others, the world and God that came out of the heart wound.
  5. Re-script the beliefs from life negative beliefs to life enhancing beliefs.
  6. Choose different actions and ways of being that are more life enhancing.

Introspection for the week:

  1. Are you a survivor of the heart wound of abuse?
  2. How has that impacted you and your life?
  3. What in the above description of this heart wound resonates with you? What doesn’t?
  4. How have your compensated in order to survive with the unhealed abuse heart wound?
  5. What healing of the abuse wound have you already accomplished?
  6. What still needs to be healed?


If you have heart wounds, the Rejuvenate program is a great place to start. The rejuvenate program is designed to help in the healing of heart wounds. When I began practicing yoga, relaxation, breathwork and meditation, I became more aware of my heart wounds and had the tools to unwind the wounds and reclaim my heart. Click here to find out more or see below.

Private Heart Healing Sessions

It is almost impossible to heal your heart wound on your own. You have build in protective mechanisms that were created to keep yourself safe and survive the experience. Those protective mechanism will block your healing unless you work with someone with enough experience to successfully navigate the inner landscape.

If you are considering one on one support in healing heart wounds, click here to sign up for a complementary Heart Healing Session. Or scroll down for more information.

May you heal your heart,



Discover a nurturing experience that supports you in:

  • Healing your heart wounds
  • Rediscover your authentic self
  • Nurture and love your body
  • Discover inner peace
  • Release pain and tension
  • De-escalate anxiety
  • Reduce depression
  • Improve sleep
  • Increasing self awareness
  • Build self care and self love

 Heart Wound Healing and Support

Complimentary Session

 Available via phone, skype, zoom or facetime

 Heart Healing Session

with Bindu

  • Feel accepted however you show up
  • Feel heard and understood
  • Share the burden of your pain
  • Experience a safe space for healing
  • Ask any questions that you have
  • Receive guidance in healing the heart
  • No pressure or hard sells
  • Experience unconditional love
  • Reclaim hope
  • Receive support