Our core values are those values that guide us in our life; like the banks of the river that allow the water to flow back into the ocean, our core values allow our life energy to flow back into a state of harmony. On a more practical level, our core values assist us in making life choices that are in alignment with our highest vision of our self.
How to discover your core values?
Ask yourself what you desire most in life. For many of us, that question will be answered with external things or situations, like to lose weight or have more money. But to get to your true core value, let’s take the question a little deeper. Ask yourself these questions:
- If I had ________________, how would that change my experience? Examples, if I lost weight, my husband would pay more attention me. If I earned more money, I could buy things that I need.
- If I got _________________, how would I feel? (examples: If my husband paid more attention to me, I would feel loved. Or If I could buy the things that I need, I would feel more secure)
- From this, look at the underlying core value: in the first example, it is love. In the second example, it is security.
From this example, you can find what the underlying motivations are for you. These are your core values. They include such things as compassion, love, and security, balance, awareness, health, abundance . . . the list is endless.
The problem is that we are looking for the solutions outside of us. We spend a lot of time and money changing the externals to create an inner experience. We are looking for the experience of security or love by trying to get it from the outside. That may work part of the time and perhaps then only temporarily.
Once we know our core values, we can create them from the inside out.
If you want to experience love, the best place to begin is by loving yourself. Loving yourself is accomplished by becoming present with yourself. By giving yourself what you want from another . . . loving attention. Do you sit with yourself and get in touch with your inner feelings, your thoughts, your desires, your pain, your dreams? Do you care for yourself by taking good care of your body? Your mind? Your spirit? Your emotions?
You can also create the experience of love by extending love to another. Pay more attention to your spouse. Notice what his/her needs and desires are. Listen to him/her when they talk. Practice random acts of kindness.
If you want to feel more secure, can you hold yourself with compassion and understanding when faced with a challenging situation and hold your own hand as your face and overcome the challenge? Can you remember another time in your life when you felt challenged and yet you overcame that challenge?
Experience your core value as an ‘in the moment’ change in perception.
If you are feeling insecure, stop and simply bring your attention to the environment around you right now. Breath, look around the room that you are in. Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have food to eat? Do you have clothing on your back? Are you in immediate danger? For most of us, the answers to these questions will be a no. The experience of being insecure isn’t real. In this moment, you have all that you need. It is simply a fear about what might happen in the future.
If you want to experience more love, take a few minutes to visualize a situation in which you felt loved by someone or in which your gave love to another. Can you feel the love flowing from within when you remember that experience? That love flowing from within is your true source of love.
Years ago, I was in an environment that was very unloving. When I got in touch with my inner core value, it was to Live Love. Once I saw that by staying in the situation I was not being loving to myself. Once I came to that realization, my situation quickly changed and I created an environment that was healthy and nurturing. But until I got to that inner realization, I didn’t have the clarity of mind to make the appropriate shift.
External Changes and Core Values are not mutually exclusive
Once you are clear on your core value and commit to bringing that into your life, you will experience a greater clarity on your choices. The right choices and opportunities will be those that carry the energy of that core value within it.
Your Core Values
Take some time this month to consider what is important to you in your life. What makes your heart sing; what gives you a sigh of relief, what makes you feel like you are coming home to yourself? Once you know your core values, ask yourself how you can implement them into your life on a daily basis. A true core value will anchor you in yourself and become an essential part of your choices and your daily experience.
Share your core values
I’d love to hear from you. What are your core values? How do they show up in your life? Are there core values that you have recognized and integrated into your life? Are there core values that you currently struggle with? Are you having difficulties identifying your core values?