Start the New Year with Powerful Intentions 

I always love New Year’s Eve and New Years Day.  It is the end of the old and the beginning of a new year.  Also given that my birthday is on Dec 31, it is a new beginning for me as I move into a new year and celebrate the number of years I have been alive.  I take time to reflect on my life and what I have experienced over the last year and set intentions for the coming year.  

This last year has been very powerful for me.  Though I have been rebuilding my own health for many years, in the last few years I have been reaching out to support others wanting to do the same.  I feel a calling to share what I have learned and experienced with others with similar challenges that I have overcome.  I want something good to come out of my years of pain and suffering and to help others rebuild their health in a shorter time frame.  

“Coming out” has been a challenge for me in that it triggered all of my self-doubt.  Yet my inner intention and my commitment to my path has led me forward . . . so here I am.    

As I look back at 2022, I am very grateful that I listened to the inner voice that drew me past my fears and self-doubt.  I feel so grateful to be connecting with those of you on my mailing list and who are following me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, LinkedIn and Instagram.  My heart feels so full when I see your comments and likes and know that I am contributing to your ever-unfolding wholeness. 

The Power of Intentions 

I would like to share with you the power of Intentions.  Too many times at the end of the year we create resolutions.  We make a commitment to lose weight, exercise more, clean up our diet and more.  But too often these resolutions fall by the wayside and we end up beating ourselves up for “failing” once again.  And maybe we have even given up making resolutions.  In seeing this pattern in myself, I made the switch to creating Intentions instead of Resolutions. 

An intention is like putting your deepest heart felt desires into a balloon and then sending that balloon into the heavens knowing that your prayers will be answered.  Resolutions have the feeling that I have to do it.  I have to make it happen.  

What is the difference between Intentions and Resolutions?  

Resolutions.  In my thinking, a Resolution is a goal created from the mind and enforced by will power.  It is a decision to do something to achieve a specific external result.  Underlying this is the desire to feel a certain way.  The resolutions are often fueled from our dislike of our self or our situation.  And yet the feeling part is often unconscious and/or accompanied with other unconscious desires to maintain status quo.  It is aligned with the do/have/be paradigm.  The paradigm that says, If I do this, then I will have this result and then I will be happy, peaceful, fulfilled, etc.   

Intentions.  Intentions are more aligned with the be/do/have paradigm.  When we create intentions, we connect within and identify what we want to feel, to be.  We create our intention around that.  From committing to our beingness, our true self, the actions of what we need to do flow from within and have the support of our higher self.  We feel inspired to take action because our actions are coming from a place of love and purpose. 

 Examples of Intentions 

Here are two of my Intentions for 2023 and how they work for me to inspire me, rather than to try to “whip” me into shape.  

I am home.  I have come home to my Self.  I am peaceful, harmonious, and present.  I am love, I am powerful, I am confident, I am fully alive.  

When I read this, I feel inspired.  I look forward to being this more consistently in my life.  It reminds me of who I truly am.  I feel inspired to take time to sit quietly with myself, to reconnect with myself, to be with myself.  Or to simply take moments during the day to take a deep breath and reconnect to my inner Self.  

I could have created a resolution saying that I am going to sit and meditate every day.  But that may or may not happen.  But starting with the intention, I will draw to me the actions and resources that will bring me closer to my desired state of being.  

I am enjoying ever increasing dynamic health.  I lovingly care for my body, heart, mind and spirit.  My body, heart, mind and spirit are harmonious with each other and in alignment with my highest good. 

When I read this, I relax.  It reminds me that, yes, I want dynamic health.  Yet, I want to be loving with myself and honor all aspects of myself.  I want my body, my heart (emotional body) my mind, and my soul to work together for my highest good rather than to be at war with each other.  

For those of us living with fibromyalgia or other chronic health challenges, we can create disharmony with our body.  We can sometimes think the body is the enemy.  We forget that our body is suffering too.  Our body wants to be healthy. 

A guide to creating your own Intentions 

Begin with some self-introspection.  Identify where you are in your life, what is working for you and what you would like to change.  As you consider your intentions, work through the following questions:  

1. Think about where you are in your life. What are your greatest challenges that you would like to move beyond? What are the external changes that you would like to create? 
2. Why do you want to achieve this new experience? What is your motivation behind this new creation?  What are you feeling that you want to change?  These are often negative emotions. 
3. What do you want to feel when you have achieved your goal? This is the most important question.  Do you want to feel happy, peaceful, confident, free? 
4. Take some time to connect to the feeling that you want to experience. Visualize yourself in that feeling.    What might your life look like?   What are you doing?  What do you need to do to move toward that state of being?  

Take the information from these introspection and create I statements.  “I am” is the most powerful statement.  It calls into being whatever follows that statement.  It also calls the experience into the present moment rather than putting it into the future. 

As you work with creating the “I am” statement, listen to your body and heart to see how they feel when you say the statement.  If you feel uplifted and encouraged, it is a good statement.  If your feeling drops, play with the statement until you feel uplifted.  You might want to say, “I am moving toward improve health” rather than “I am healthy” 

Let your heart be your guide.  Your heart knows what is in your highest and best good. 

I wish you much love, peace, joy and improved health in the coming year. 

💗Bindu

In the last few newsletters, I have mentioned the 6 steps to heal a heart wound. In this article I will explore the anatomy of a Heart Wound so we can better understand the importance of the 6 steps to heal the heart wound.

We need to progress through all 6 steps of the heart wound to clear all dimensions.

1.    Cellular Memory

This show ups as images and memories of the event. In the case of very severe heart wounds the memories are suppressed and hidden away as a protective mechanism. When the wound it too painful or frightening, or if we are shamed by what happened, we are protected by hiding the memory.

2.    Suppressed Emotions

Every heart wound has an emotional component. Whether it be fear, anger, sadness, grief or shame, these emotions get suppressed and live on in your emotional body. Until those emotions are released, you will always be at the mercy of them, showing up when you lest expect them. Until you can bring up the memory with no or little emotion around it the heart wound isn’t fully healed. These emotions are the gateway into the wound.

3.    Conditioning

Our heart wounds are born out of not getting our needs met in one way or another. When we have a need, as a child, we ask for what we need. A baby cries when they are hungry or need a diaper change. A child falls down and scrapes a knee and reaches out to the parent for comfort. A child who has suffered a loss, whether that be a pet, friend, parent or family member will reach out for love and assurance that all will be well. A toddler may try to take off a coat when they are too hot. A teenager might begin to pull away from a parent to test their independence as the approach adulthood.

If these needs are not met or if the child is punished for expressing the need, the child is conditioned by the parent as to what is acceptable and what is not. If suppressing their own needs to please a parent or care giver, that behavior can carry into adulthood. Stories and belief systems will be built around that.

3.    Stories

As long as the heart wound is not fully healed, the cellular memories and suppressed emotions live on in your body. You will feel their effect subconsciously and that is very uncomfortable. In order to live with this discomfort, we tell stories about why we feel the way we feel and act the way we act to rationalize what we are subconsciously feeling. This is a protective mechanism to avoid feeling the pain that is held in the cellular memory and emotional body. Eventually we think those stories are who we are.

We often make excuses for those who didn’t meet our needs. Or we think that something is wrong with us for having the need in the first place.

Additional stories are build around the conditioning. My needs aren’t important. I must take care of others and put their needs before mine. I cannot ask for what I need. I am not important. I am unworthy of love, comfort and assurance.

4.    Beliefs and Belief Systems

Out of the stories and conditioning, we develop beliefs and belief systems. Beliefs are what we tell our self about our self, others, life or God. The longer we hold onto a belief the more deeply ingrained that belief comes and the more power it holds over us. This is another brick or many bricks in the wall of protection that we build around our self.

5.    Coping mechanisms

At this point, we have placed our self in a box. We have suppressed our natural needs, gifts and expression. We do not feel fulfilled by life. A new layer of coping mechanisms appear.

Coping mechanism are actions that we take to avoid feeling and to pretend that life is good. They can be self destructive actions like compulsive eating, alcohol addiction, sex addiction, cutting. They can be avoidance actions such as being a perfectionist, over achiever, grandiosity, or over controlling. They can be mitigating actions such as people pleasing, hiding, isolating, memory losses, emotional breakdowns.

If we try to change the coping mechanisms without going through the 6 steps, it becomes a frustrating experience of repeated failure. More beliefs are built around the coping mechanisms and our failure to change them. ie. I am over emotional. I am successful. I am a looser so why try. I am a loner.

6 Steps to Heal a Heart Wound:

This anatomy of a Heart Wound give rise to the 6 steps to heal a heart wound. If you miss any of the steps, you will still be compromised by the Heart Wound. You might feel better. You might function better in the world.

But a part of you will still be in pain. And that pain is often hidden. We disclaim, abandon and exile the wounded parts of our self. We believe these parts are bad and often that was part of the conditioning that came along with the heart wound.

To fully heal a heart wound we need to embrace those abandon parts. Give them the loving attention that they needed at the time of the heart wound. Once the parts are embraced and healed, they can integrate back into a more complete expression of who we are.

The 6 steps to heal a heart wound are as follows.

1. Acknowledge the wound. Realize it is there and tell the truth about it.
2. Allow yourself to feel the emotions and the pain of the wound.
3. Realize the coping mechanisms that you created to survive.
4. Acknowledge the negative beliefs about yourself, others, the world and God that came out of the heart wound.
5. Re-script the beliefs from life negative beliefs to life enhancing beliefs.
6. Choose different actions and ways of being that are more life enhancing.

These 6 steps aren’t necessarily linear. We need to allow our psyche lead us in unravelling the quagmire of cellular memories, suppressed emotions, conditioning, beliefs and belief systems, and coping mechanisms.

The Untouched Blueprint of our Authentic Self

We have with us an untouched stillness that holds the blue print of our authentic self. That authentic self is who were were meant to be and includes our core values, gifts and talents, creativity and authentic expression. To re-access that part of our self is to become fully alive and expressive again.

Incomplete Healing

I have coached many people who have done years of psychotherapy. They normally have dealt with the stories, beliefs and belief systems, conditioning, and coping mechanisms. But it is my experience that until the suppressed emotions and cellular memories are addressed, they aren’t fully free and the heart wounds aren’t fully healed.

The emotions and cellular memories are held in the limbic brain and in the cellular body and are usually untouched by cognitive only therapies. In my own experience sitting with my emotions and allowing the memories to surface has brought about healing that could never be done on a cognitive level.

I have also coached people who have done a lot of somatic work, releasing cellular memories and emotions from the body. But if they have not explored their belief systems, conditioning, stories and coping mechanisms and re-scripted them they can still remain relatively dysfunctional in the world.

There is a third group of people who have used spiritual practice to resolve trauma by transcending, yet transcending an experience doesn’t heal it. They too need to work through the 6 steps of healing.

Any one of the 6 steps that are ignored can compromise your happiness, health and healing.

Coming Next Week

Next week, I’ll focus on Part 2 of Healing the Abuse Heart Wound. I wanted to provide this background before proceeding to that.

May you be thorough in your healing, ❤️Bindu